


A Marked Up Copy of Moby Dick

by Hawkingjay



Category: Heathers (1988), Heathers: The Musical - Murphy & O'Keefe
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Canon Era, Check chapters for details, F/F, F/M, Gen, M/M, Multi, No murder, Post canon, Veronica's greek chorus, canon character death, mentions of abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-02
Updated: 2016-03-04
Packaged: 2018-05-24 06:31:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 60
Words: 24,566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6144646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hawkingjay/pseuds/Hawkingjay
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompts and drabbles and ficlets from Tumblr (sawyeronica.tumblr.com)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Bam! Bam! Bam!

_Thunk!_

Heather McNamara watched as her mug decorated with little yellow flowers fell on the floor, hot chocolate spilling everywhere. She sighed. It was a bummer, sure, but it wasn’t the end of the world. She turned to Veronica to tell her that she’d be over there in a bit. That’s when she noticed how Veronica was sitting.She was frozen, her eyes wide, head perked up, and sitting up straight in a way that Heather had never seen before. Heather suddenly felt guilty about feeling sad for the loss of her favorite mug, when this was what Veronica was dealing with.

“Roni, what’s wrong?” Heather asked, abandoning her attempt to clean up the spilled drink. She walked over to the kitchen table, where Veronica sat with an untouched mug of tea in front of her. Veronica started to move.

“Oh, sorry. I get like that when I hear loud noises,” Veronica said, returning to the slouched posture that Heather Chandler always criticized her for, “it brings back bad memories of- things.” She said, throwing on the last word to avoid questions from Heather. Heather didn’t have to ask though. She knew what Veronica meant. It was hard not to, since her ex’s suicide was initially mistaken for a meteor crashing down on earth. Heather slowly pulled the taller girl towards her.

“Hey, you’re safe, okay?” She said, wrapping the brunette in a hug. She tried to kiss Veronica’s cheek, but ended up kissing her shoulder, since Veronica was so much taller than her. Veronica laughed at that, a sound that Heather wouldn’t have expected to like nearly as much as she did.

“I know,” Veronica said, “sometimes it’s hard to remember that.”

“Well, next time you forget that, just remember if something is bothering you or hurting you, I’ll do everything I can to make it go away,” Heather said, pulling away from Veronica to sit up straight, trying to look threatening despite her small stature. Veronica smiled.

“I think I can do that,” Veronica said, “now move, you left hot chocolate and bits of mug all over the floor.”

“You stay right there,” Heather insisted, “I can get it.”

“I’ve seen you try to clean, Heather,” Veronica teased, “That’s how we can work. You can make me feel better, and I’ll clean since you’re terrible at it.” Heather playfully smacked her.

“Pillowcase,” Heather called after Veronica.

“Hey, you’re good at lots of things. I mean, I’ve seen your history tests,” Veronica said, referencing the blonde’s odd ability to memorize random facts, “It’s just that cleaning isn’t one of them.”

“It’s okay though,” Heather said, getting up from the kitchen table and following Veronica, “because I have you.” She finally caught up to Veronica, turned her so that the two were facing each other, and then kissed her.

The mess on the floor could wait for just a minute.


	2. Laundry at 2 AM

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> JD and Veronica meet at the campus laundry room late one night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> College AU JDonica

Veronica hated how the Heathers always managed to fuck up her life. She always went out of her way for the girls down the hall, whether she was doing favors for them or trying to avoid them. This time, it was definitely a case of the latter, which is why she was dragging her laundry basket to the elevator at 1:30, in a convoluted effort to not get her clothes stolen. She tried to be quiet, so as not to wake up her roommate, Betty, who was smart enough not to get wrapped up in these sorts of things. She walked down the hall quietly, observing the three single rooms to make sure all three queen bees weren’t up and about. Nothing. Good. She continued downstairs and started her laundry, getting some reading done while she waited, figuring she wouldn’t be disturbed.

Of course, the assumption that no one else would be doing their laundry so late at night was incorrect, as a guy in black sweatpants and a grey t-shirt also dragged his laundry basket in. He pushed all his laundry into the machine, no separation needed, since it was all dark colors. He paused for a second.

“And of course, I forgot detergent,” he muttered. Veronica looked up from her book.

“You can use mine,” She offered, “I’m guessing you don’t want to go back up and disturb your roommate.”

“You can’t disturb what you don’t have,” the random guy said, “But I’ll still take you up on the offer.”

“There are a bunch of girls down the hall from me who don’t have roommates, probably because no one else would want to live with them,” Veronica said, “Are you secretly a Heather?”

“I have no idea what that means,” he said, turning away from her to focus on his laundry, “but no, I had a roommate, but then he moved out so he could be roommates with ‘my buddy Kurt’” He said, doing an impression of his ex roommate.

“Oh my god, I think I know who you’re talking about!” Veronica said, laughing.

“Really?” He asked, eyebrows raised, the bottle of Veronica’s detergent halfway uncapped.

“Ram Sweeney?” Veronica said.

“Holy shit! Yeah!” J.D. said with a laugh.

“He’s dating Heather, and somehow they’re the most annoying couple in the building,” Veronica said, rolling her eyes.

“Heather…?”

“Duke.”

“Okay, because I met a girl named Heather Chandler, and the only word I can think of to describe her was ‘megabitch’.”

“I know her, too. Heather Chandler and Heather Duke are members of ‘The Heathers’, which is what I’ve decided to call the three girls living down the hall from me right next to each other,” Veronica said, “I’m sure you can guess why.”

“I have no idea,” Mr. No-name-kid said sarcastically.

“Speaking of, how do I know you’re not a Heather?” Veronica asked, “I didn’t catch your name.”

“I didn’t throw it,” He responded. Really? Veronica sighed in frustration. Normally she would let this kind of thing go, but it was 2 AM, and she wasn’t up for that kind of shit.

“Cute,” she said, simply, “So do you have a name, or are you just the ghost that apparently haunts this building.”

“I’ll end the suspense. Jason Dean, J.D. for short,” he said, “although I don’t see how I can’t also be a ghost.”

“I don’t think its likely that we’re both legendary ghosts,” Veronica said, “just kidding. I’m Veronica Sawyer, and I’m very much alive, despite the best efforts of the Heathers.”

“That’s rough,” J.D. said.

“That’s why I’m doing laundry at 2 AM. I don’t want my clothes to get stolen because I didn’t want to prank my best friend,” Veronica said.

“Why do you talk to them?” He asked, leaning against the washer.

“Did you not hear the part about how they live down the hall from me?”

“So? I live down the hall from Kurt and Ram, and we don’t interact,” J.D. said, “mostly because I kicked their asses at one point during the first week of classes.” Veronica gasped.

“Holy shit! That was you?” She shouted, “you’re Bo Diddly?”

“What?” J.D. said, clearly not familiar with the nickname, “yeah. I think. Bo Diddly?”

“Kurt and Ram are idiots, in case you couldn’t tell,” Veronica said. “Is it true that you headbutted them?”

“Wow, news really gets around here,” he said with a chuckle.

“Eh, I only know because Martha wouldn’t stop talking about it,” she said, “she’s convinced that she and Ram were meant to be because they kissed on the kickball field in kindergarten.”

“Wow,” J.D. said.

“She’s really sweet, though,” Veronica said, “and I don’t have the heart to tell my best friend that Ram Sweeney is a huge dick.”

“Even though he is,” J.D. said.

“You’re just upset because he got in a good hit,” Veronica said, pointing to the remnants of a bruise from two weeks ago.

“That’s debatable,” he said, as Veronica’s machine beeped.

“If you say so, tough guy,” she said. She moved her clothes from the washing machine to the dryer.

“You dropped these,” J.D. said, pointing to a pair of Veronica’s panties. She felt her face turn red.

“Oh, um, thanks,” she said, picking them up and throwing them in the dryer as quickly as possible. That was the only faux pas Veronica made over the night. Okay, maybe you could count Veronica making fun of the black trench coat he had, debating whether he was “a serial killer, a flasher, or a serial killer who flashes victims before he kills them.” Veronica maintained that it was a hilarious joke, and J.D. didn’t seem too bothered by it.

“What floor are you on?” J.D. asked, as Veronica loaded her dry clothes back into her laundry basket.

“2nd floor, 217. Why?”

“I live in 304, if you want to visit sometime,” he said.

“I might just take you up on that,” Veronica said, heading back to the elevator, wondering if she had found someone who would make her Heather-filled existence just a bit more bearable.


	3. Kindergarten Best Friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Martha and Heather Duke bond

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW for canon bulimia

Martha never admitted her secret to anyone, not even Veronica. After all, she’d heard what Veronica said.

_He didn’t love you. He was a dick._

Maybe she was right. Still, even if he didn’t love her, Martha still loved Ram, which is why she would try to visit his grave once a week. Since she kept her visits secret, she was normally the only one there, which is why she was surprised when she heard someone walking up behind her.

“Wow, this is a whole new level of sad, Dumptruck,” she heard. She turned around and saw Heather Duke, still missing the red scrunchie Veronica had seized a few weeks ago, “visiting the graves of the cool kids won’t make you any more cool.”

“That’s not why I’m here,” Martha said, her voice trembling just a bit. She knew Heather Duke had lost most of her power, but the other girl was somehow still intimidating.

“I’d ask why you are, but I don’t really care,” Heather said. She stared at the stone with Martha for a minute, before pulling something out of her bag. It was a bottle of some sort of alcohol, Martha figured. She looked confused as Heather opened it.

“What are you doing?” She asked. Heather glared at her.

“Shut up,” Heather said, and she slowly poured the contents of the bottle onto the patch of dirt in front of the gravestone. Heather sighed, “this is the best way I can think of to honor his memory.”

“You miss him?” Martha asked.

“No, I’m here because I hated Ram,” Heather said, sarcastically. She frowned at Martha, “God, you’re such a pillowcase. Yes, I miss him. He may have been a drunken idiot, but he was my drunken idiot, y’know?”

“I wish,” Martha said, quietly.

“Didn’t you two kiss on the kickball field?” Heather asked, and Martha’s stomach lurched just a little.

“Yeah, but that was just in Kindergarten.”

“Hm, Heather still thought it meant something though,” she said, smoothing out her skirt before sitting in front of the grave.

“So you really did put Veronica up to writing that note.”

“Jesus, you’re more naïve than the stupid unicorn on your sweatshirt,” Heather said. Martha frowned down at her favorite sweatshirt, wondering if it really was stupid. “Yes, we did put her up to it. That’s what we did. It was a part of a stupid prank. It was nothing,” She got quiet, “like everything else we did.”

Martha didn’t know how to respond, so instead she sat down next to Heather. Oddly enough, the smaller girl didn’t say anything when she did.

“I never would have expected Ram Sweeney was gay,” Heather said after a few minutes.

“Me neither,” Martha said, “but that’s because I thought he loved me, that because he was my boyfriend when we were five years old we were somehow meant to be.”

“Well, at least he never pretended to be interested in you,” Heather said bitterly.

“Wow, Heather, I never thought of that,” Martha said, quietly.

“Eh, I try not to focus on the negative,” Heather says, “it only weighs me down.” Martha nodded silently.

“Maybe I should have thought of things that way,” Martha said. “You know, after Ram died, I had this elaborate conspiracy theory that he and Kurt were murdered by J.D.” Heather laughed a little.

“Well, I mean he was kind of creepy,” Heather said, “one time he walked up to me, quoted  _Moby Dick_ , and then blackmailed me into circulating some sort of anti-suicide petition.”

"I never got what Veronica saw in him,” Martha said.

“Me neither. I tried to get her to sign the petition, and she freaked out, like,” Heather started to do a very bad impression of Veronica, “if you’re smart you’ll avoid anything that has to do with him.”

“She’s still really weird about him,” Martha said, “although that might just be because he’s dead.”

“Yeah,” Heather said, “That’ll mess you up.”

The two sat in silence for a few more minutes before Heather left, insisting that they weren’t hanging out, and this one random meeting in no way meant that they were friends. Still, Heather was slightly different each time Martha passed her in the hallway, no longer sneering, and sometimes even acknowledging her. It was this, combined with Martha and Veronica’s new friendship with Heather McNamara, that caused Martha to reach out to Heather Duke.

“Hey, um, Veronica, Heather, and me have a movie night every Saturday, and I was wondering if you wanted to join us,” Martha said, standing in front of Heather’s locker, “we’re planning on watching  _The Princess Bride_ , but we can watch a different movie, if you want.” Heather just rolled her eyes at this.

“Okay, first of all, what did I say? We’re not friends,” Heather said, although it seemed like she was saying it more out of obligation than anything else, “and I highly doubt Heather and Veronica want me to crash their stupid movie night. I’m not exactly their favorite person, not that I care.”

“Oh,” Martha said. She was going to question exactly why Heather and Heather were no longer friends, but she decided it was probably a sensitive subject, so instead she said, “well, maybe Friday night we can hang out together.”

Heather sighed dramatically at the suggestion, before responding, “if I have absolutely nothing better to do- which I doubt- I’ll think about it.”

Apparently, Heather had nothing better to do that Friday. She came over to the Dunnstock house, Mrs. Dunnstock fussing about how it was  _so long_ since she’d seen Heather, and how she’d grown up so much. Heather was polite, and didn’t say anything other than “yeah” or “sure” or something similar. She and Martha had a surprisingly fun time hanging out, especially considering that it was a dry sleepover, unlike her sleepovers with the other Heathers, which heavily featured vodka. Heather had so much fun, in fact, that a few weeks later, she came back and had another sleepover with Martha. Soon, their sleepovers became a regular occurrence, and Heather wasn’t quick to deny her friendship towards Martha. In return, Martha had managed to get her a place at the lunch table with Heather and Veronica, even though the other two really hadn’t forgiven her.

For the most part, though, there weren’t really that many problems. Sure, Heather and Veronica would get in arguments every now and then, and Martha always tried a little too hard to get the other two to accept Heather Duke, but compared to the old days, things weren’t that bad.

The only loose end was Martha’s curiosity as to where Heather went after lunch every day. So, one day, she decided to follow her. She’d admit it was kind of weird, but Heather was her friend, sort of, and Martha wanted to make sure she was okay. Her concerned multiplied when she followed Heather into the bathroom, and then after a minute heard coughing and retching.

“Heather?” Martha called.

“What?” Heather said back, from inside one of the stalls, her voice reverberating, indicating that her head was over the toilet bowl.

“Is something wrong?”

“No, I’m fine,” Heather said, “I think I have some sort of bug or something.”

“If you’re sick you really should go home,” Martha said.

“I’m not a pussy like you,” Heather snapped, “I don’t need to go home.”

“Okay,” Martha said, “if you change your mind, let me know and I can give you a ride.”

The issue bothered Martha for the rest of the day. After sixth period, she approached Heather McNamara while she was leaving the classroom.

“I know you two aren’t exactly the best of friends, but I’m worried about Heather Duke,” Martha said. Heather’s brown eyes widened, and the tiny blonde stopped for a moment.

“Why?”

“I ran into her in the bathroom after lunch, and she was throwing up,” Martha said, “but when I asked if she was okay, she said she was fine and got mad at me. I just think that if she might need to go home and get some rest if she’s not feeling well.”

“Heather’s probably not sick,” Heather said, “she makes herself throw up all the time.”

“What?!” Martha said, her mouth slightly agape. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing.

“Yeah, I keep telling her to go to a doctor, but she never listens to me,” Heather said. Martha thanked Heather and then hurried off, creating a plan to set into motion.

“You should have let me drive,” Heather Duke grumbled from the passenger seat, “this isn’t the way to the movie theater.” Martha inhaled deeply, not looking away from the road, before speaking.

“Heather, we’re not going to the movies,” Martha said. She’d meant to say it slowly, but she blurted the statement out, her nerves getting the best of her, “I made an appointment for you with a psychologist. Heather told me about your bulimia, and I’m really worried about you.”

Heather spent the entire ride there getting angry with Martha and insisting she was fine, but Martha still dragged Heather into the waiting room and into the psychologist’s office. She considered it a victory when Heather just glared at her when she asked how the appointment went. Martha had heard that people didn’t really change, but maybe Heather Duke could prove them wrong.


	4. ANGST

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Veronica regrets her actions

Veronica Sawyer no longer believed she was a good person. Between helping the Heathers carry out their fucked up agenda and- oh yeah-  _killing three of her classmates_ , she was sure she definitely didn’t deserve the title. Oddly enough, Heather Chandler hadn’t said anything one way or the other on the subject. Heather just mostly really, really didn’t like J.D.

 _I mean, someone needs to break it to Clyde Barrow that killing people doesn’t make them better, it just makes them dead_. Heather said, examining her nails while Veronica got some of her books out of her locker. Veronica heard someone walking up, and she froze, terrified that it was J.D. Oh, yeah, she was terrified of her boyfriend now, since he had tricked her into shooting people and hadn’t shown any remorse. That was the way her life was going.

As it turned out, it was just Martha walking up to her. She simultaneously felt guilt and relief at seeing her best friend.

“Hey, Veronica,” Martha said, bouncing on her heels, “um, I get that you’re busy lately, so I just wanted to check and make sure that we were still on for movie night.”

“Yeah,” Veronica said, a bit absently.

“You sure? Because last time, you kind of flaked out on me,” Martha said.

“Yeah, I’m so sorry, Martha,” Veronica said. Of course she was sorry about way, way more than missing movie night, but she would never admit it.

 _Yeah, how do you break it to your best friend that you helped kill her crush?_ Heather Chandler said. Veronica didn’t respond to her.

“Eh, It’s been difficult lately,” Martha said, deflating just a little bit. Veronica gave her a hug, because she didn’t know what to do at this point.

“We’re definitely renting  _The Princess Bride_ again,” Veronica said, “because we really need a happy ending right now.”

"Yeah,” Martha said, and she walked off. Veronica stared off into her locker. Not really sure what she was doing at that point. Her mind was so clouded, which was understandable considering all that had happened.

Considering all she had done.

She needed to go somewhere to just get herself back together. So she went to the only place where she knew she could avoid J.D.: the girl’s bathroom. The second she walked in, she heard retching.

“Heather, I’m serious,” Heather McNamara said, “you really should see a doctor.”

“Shut up, Heather!” Heather Duke said from inside the stall.

“Sorry, Heather,” Heather McNamara said. Veronica tried to walk past the Heathers to a small little corner in the bathroom that no one could see. She wondered when they had started to ditch her like that. Normally Veronica was helping Heather Mac talk Heather Duke into seeing a doctor. Now she was just passing between them, ignored. She sat down in the corner, taking some deep breaths, trying to get a hold of herself. Of course, it was of no use. She’d passed the point of no return when Heather Chandler’s lifeless form fell to the ground. Tears started to pool in her eyes, and she did everything she could to stop herself from full-out sobbing. She heard the toilet flush, footsteps head away, and the bathroom door creaking open, and felt unable to keep it all in.

“Veronica?”

_Shit._

She’d only heard one set of footsteps leave the bathroom. She’d forgotten that there were two Heathers in there. Heather McNamara rounded the corner.

“Veronica,” she said, crouching down towards Veronica, no doubt able to see that the brunette was crying, “what’s wrong?”

“I-” Veronica said, not sure what to tell the tiny blonde. She couldn’t lie to Heather, so she just said, “Everything.”

Heather nodded softly, pulling Veronica into a hug, “I know the feeling.”

Veronica didn’t ask what she meant by that.


	5. Jenna Dean

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Heathers but with genderbent JD"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Canon character death

Veronica and JD were giggling. They should probably be more serious, but they needed a few laughs after the events of that day. Plus, what they were about to do was pretty damn funny. Veronica shushed her girlfriend before picking up the phone.

“Hey, Kurt,” Veronica said into the phone, “it’s Veronica.” Veronica held up the phone so JD could hear.

“Hey, Veronicuuuuuh,” he said. JD was holding in giggles, there was amusement shining in her heavily lined eyes.

“Um, how did you know it was always a fantasy of mine to have two guys at once?” Veronica asked, JD was amazed by her ability to keep it together. Veronica held up the receiver again.

“Uh, lucky guess.”

“Well, how about we make it a four way? You can bring Ram and I can bring Jenna.”

“Yeah, that sounds great.”

“Well, meet me at the cemetery,” Veronica said, grinning, “at dawn.” Once the phone was hung up, Veronica and JD burst out laughing and high fives.

“That was great!” Veronica said. JD hummed.

“Well, our love is God.”

“So what’s the plan?” Veronica asked.

“Did you take German?” JD asked. Veronica frowned.

“No, I took French,” she said, “why?”

“Well, this,” she said, holding up a gun, “is filled with ich lüge bullets. My granddad scored them in world war two. They’re a powerful tranquilizer that the Nazis used to fake their suicides when the Russians invaded Berlin.” she turned off the gun’s safety. “We’ll use them to make it look like Kurt and Ram had a failed suicide pact. Complete with a fake suicide note.”

Veronica beamed. She ripped a page out of her diary and began quickly scribbling. Once she was done, she held up the note.

“Tell me the resemblance isn’t uncanny,” Veronica said.

“It’s perfecto.”

—

“So do we just whip it out?” Ram asked. Veronica and JD exchanged a look.

“Take it slow, Ram,” Veronica said. She did most of the talking, since she was much better at playing coy than JD. “Strip for us.”

It took everything in their power to keep their faces straight as Kurt and Ram tried their best to look sexy, but wound up making fools out of themselves.

“Do you like that?” Kurt asked.

“Oh, yeah,” JD said sarcastically. Veronica shot her a glare. She didn’t want JD’s inability to keep it together to ruin this prank.

“What about you?” Ram asked.

“Well,” Veronica said, “I was hoping you could rip my clothes off me, sport.”

“Count of three,” JD said.

“One”

“Two”

“Three!” JD and Veronica said, pulling out their guns and firing. JD nailed her shot, but Veronica missed.

“Stay there. I’ll get him!” She shouted, her trench coat fluttering behind her as she ran after Kurt. Veronica stopped laughing about Kurt’s face when she shot him, and stared down at Ram.

“Ram, you’re just unconscious, right?” Veronica asked, kicking him with her foot. It didn’t do anything. She didn’t know why she thought it would, so she bent down and checked for a pulse.

Nothing.

Holy shit.

Across the clearing, she could hear JD and Kurt shouting, although she couldn’t tell what they were saying. She ran over to stop JD, but she was too late. She heard the shot fire.

“What the fuck have you done?!” She shouted at JD, who was brushing dark hair out of her face. She didn’t answer. She just smiled and lit a cigarette.


	6. The Sweetest Revenge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> College Prank war AU with JD and Veronica

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know if I mentioned this in the other College AU fic, but Betty Finn from the movie is Veronica's college roommate.

“When did you learn how to pick locks?” JD asked Veronica, as she was hard at work on the last door at the end of the hall.

“There are things you don’t know about me,” she said with a smirk. With one last twist of the bobby pin, the door opened, and they walked into Heather Chandler’s room, “you’ve got the stuff.” JD held up a grocery bag in response.

“Right here,” he said. He unloaded the contents, “T.P. or whipped cream?”

“Whipped cream?” Veronica said with a frown, “I told you to get shaving cream.”

“Yeah, but shaving cream doesn’t go bad quickly,” JD said, a wicked smirk forming on his face, “whipped cream does.” At this, Veronica started to laugh, and JD glared at her.

“Keep it down, Veronica!” JD whispered, “We could get in serious trouble for this!”

“Right, sorry.” Veronica said, grabbing the roll of toilet paper from the bag.

“So, how do I do this?” She said, pulling the plastic off of the toilet paper.

“Okay, so, normally you don’t do it at close range like this,” JD said, making Veronica wonder if he’d done this before, “but you want to unroll it just a little, and then throw it.” She followed the directions and threw the roll. Of course, since the toilet paper was within her reach, she could spread it out, making Heather Chandler’s life resemble the hell she’d caused for Veronica. While she was perfecting the placement of the toilet paper, she heard the whipped cream can as JD moved around the room. As she placed the empty roll of toilet paper in the center of Heather’s signature red scrunchie, she saw Heather’s alarm clock and noticed the time.

“Shit, JD,” Veronica said, “we’ve got to motor!” The two bolted out of the room, and Veronica made sure that the door was shut all the way behind them. They made their way to the door of Veronica’s room, hopped up on adrenaline. They took a second to compose themselves, and an idea occurred to Veronica.

“You know, Betty’s out of town for the weekend, so I have the dorm to myself,” Veronica said, a coy smile playing upon her lips.

“Are you suggesting what I think you are?”

“Maybe.”

“That sounds perfecto,” JD said, and the two went into Veronica’s room to enjoy one of the best make out sessions they’ve had in a while.


	7. Movie night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Heather McNamara joins Veronica and Martha's movie night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> McNamawyer Modern AU

Veronica stood in front of the microwave with her hand in her hair. Maybe waiting for the popcorn to pop hadn’t been a good way to get her mind off of her nerves.

“Roni, are you okay?” Heather McNamara asked behind her. While she was in charge of hosting movie night, she’d asked Heather to come over early to help her deal with the news they were going to break. Also because Veronica wanted to make out with her girlfriend. Sue her.

It was Veronica’s relationship with Heather that was making her nervous. Not because she had any issues with Heather, to the contrary, things were going great. No, tonight, she was going to tell the first person about their relationship. They figured they should tell Martha first, since she would be a supportive friend like always.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” she said, not looking away from the microwave, “I’m just a bit stressed, I guess. You sure you’re okay with Pitch Perfect for movie night.”

“You know the rules,” Heather said, “your house, your popcorn, your choice. Plus, next week, it’s my choice, and you’re going to have to listen to me and Martha sing along to Tangled.”

“Yeah,” Veronica said. She didn’t admit that Martha’s name caused a little twist in her stomach. She felt so bad about everything that had happened with Martha, and now she had to tell her that her two best friends were dating. The popcorn stopped popping and Veronica pulled the popcorn out of the microwave.

“Can we put that nacho cheese powder on the popcorn?” Heather asked, leaning against the kitchen counter.

“No, Heather, this is shared popcorn,” Veronica said. Heather pouted.

“I’ll make out with you,” Heather said.

“As tempting as that sounds,” Veronica said, standing next to Heather at the counter. Heather rested her head on her shoulder, “I still have to say no.”

The doorbell rang, and Veronica went to get the door. The second she opened it, Martha wrapped her up in a big hug.

“What’s on the agenda?” Martha asked as she pulled out of the hug.

“Pitch Perfect,” Veronica said, “and popcorn without nacho cheese powder, much to Heather’s dismay.”

“Nacho cheese popcorn seems likes a really delicious idea,” Martha said.

“Well, I disagree,” Veronica said, “come on in, loser.” Martha walked in the door, and Heather immediately wrapped her into a giant hug.

“Martha! It’s so good to see you!” the tiny blonde shouted.

“You too!”

“Oh, Veronica and I have big news!” Heather said, jumping up and down in excitement.

“Oh, I don’t know how big the news is,” Veronica said, nervously. Heather tried to knock her shoulder into Veronica’s but the six inch height difference meant Heather’s shoulder collided with Veronica’s upper arm.

“I think it’s pretty big,” she said. Heather laced her fingers into Veronica’s, “Veronica and I are going out.” Much to Veronica’s surprise, Martha squealed and pulled them into another hug.

“I’m so happy for you two!” Martha said, “I thought you two would make a cute couple!”

“You did?” Veronica asked. She didn’t expect that.

“Of course, silly! That’s why I skipped out on the last movie night! I figured you two needed an excuse to be together,” Martha said, and she winked at Veronica and Heather.

“Martha, you know you don’t have to miss movie night to give us alone time, right?” Veronica said, “you’re our friend, and we like hanging out with you. The fact that we’re together won’t change that.”

“I know,” Martha said, “I just didn’t want to get in the way of you two.”

“Martha, that’ll never happen,” Heather said, “Now come on. Let’s watch the movie!”


	8. I like skipping gym

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> JD and Veronica skip Heather's memorial convocation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "JDonica modern AU set during The Me Inside of Me"

JD brought out the worst in Veronica. She couldn’t deny it, but she didn’t want to do anything about it. Not when she was in the boiler room making out with JD instead of going to the memorial for the girl they accidentally killed.

 _That’s one way of putting it,_ she heard Heather Chandler’s voice say in her head.

“JD, wait, this feels weird,” she said. he pulled his lips off of her jaw before looking up at her.

“What do you mean?” she asked. God, he was too hot for her own good, with those deep brown eyes and lopsided smile.

“I mean, we killed someone,” she said slowly, “that’s fucked up. We can’t ignore that. We can’t act like nothing happened.”

“Veronica,” he said, looking at her  _with so much intensity_ , she couldn’t help but melt a little inside, “we can’t bring her back. Nothing will change that. I mean, we could be the next ones gone.”

“I doubt that,” Veronica said, “I don’t think anyone wants us gone enough to give us a glass of drain cleaner.”

“You’re missing my point,” he said, and he went back to kissing her, “life is short. As Drake said, ‘you only live once’. We might as well appreciate the time we have, and I want to spend that time with you.”

“I didn’t know you were familiar with the works of Drake,” Veronica said with a laugh.

“I’ve been through ten high schools, and several of them have been populated with annoying white boys,” he said, “which is part of the reason why I’m not on twitter.”

“Yeah, you’re a social media ghost. You’re not even on Facebook. I tried to add you.”

“Why?”

“So I could change my relationship status to ‘in a relationship’ with you.”

“Maybe I should get on Facebook, then,” JD said, but before he could continue, there was a loud cheer from the gym, “wow, good to know Heather’s memorial is a solemn occasion.” Veronica smacked him lightly in protest.

“Don’t joke about it.”

“I’m just saying, between this and Heather Duke’s crocodile tears, Heather Chandler’s more popular than ever,” he said, and Veronica could swear she saw Heather Chandler standing behind him and smirking. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath in an attempt to clear her head.

“Can we not talk about Heather? It’s really weird.”

“Yeah,” JD said, “we can continue a sacred high school tradition instead.”

“And what tradition is that?” Veronica said, giving JD a flirty smile.

“Engaging in inappropriate actions while skipping convocations,” JD said. Veronica kissed him.

“I like that idea.”


	9. Cornflake Girl

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by the Tori Amos song

It was the day after her second funeral that month. The funeral where she saw the havoc that she’d helped bring upon these families. The funeral where JD sat next to her, his presence unquestioned, like he hadn’t tricked her into killing.

 _Miss holier-than-thou has sinned like the rest of us! What a fucking plot twist!_ Heather Chandler had said, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

No, no, Veronica had tried to make amends. She and JD were done being Bonnie and Clyde. He’d promised her.

Of course, that was easy enough to forget when Heather Duke’s smiling face was on the news  _again_ , talking about how she would had supported Ram had he just told her. Of course, since Veronica’s life had become a living nightmare, Kurt and Ram had joined Heather in haunting her, and Kurt was having a laugh at Ram’s expense. She turned off the TV, and took a deep breath before heading up to her room.

This was the last thing she needed to be dealing with.

Of course, he plans to get her mind off of everything that had transpired were thwarted when she saw none other than Jason  _Fucking_ Dean sitting on her bed, reading a book. Actually, Veronica realized, upon closer inspection, he wasn’t reading a book, he was marking up a copy of  _Moby Dick._

“My offer still stands, you know,” he said.

“As does your promise,” Veronica said, dryly, “you know, I feel like I’m not asking too much of you when I request that you not kill people.”

“Veronica, why do you have to be such a buzzkill?” JD asked, pulling her close to him. She didn’t pull into him, but didn’t pull away, either.

“Because three people are dead!”

“Three assholes are dead, and now Sherwood, Ohio’s a better place.”

“You’re unbelievable,” she said, looking him straight in the eye. He smirked.

God, what a fucking asshole.

“I know,” he said, pressing a kiss onto her forehead. “I couldn’t do it without you.” That made her stomach queasy, and she pushed him away.

“Get out,” she said coldly.

“Veronica-”

“Out. Now.” She said, pointing to the window, where he probably came in, “I don’t want to deal with you right now.”

He didn’t protest as he exited. Veronica flopped onto her bed, trying to ignore the residual heat from JD’s body. It took everything she had not to cry into her pillow, because as much as he insisted they were special, they really weren’t. They caused pain and fear just like everyone else.

How was this her life?


	10. Haunt Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> JD's deeds bite him in the ass.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TrenchcoatScrunchie

When he died, JD had realized he’d been so,  _so_ wrong about Hell. Or at least, that’s what he’d decided once he was staring into Heather Chandler’s Russian Red smirk.

“Well, well, well,” she said, clearly reveling in this, “clearly someone isn’t as special as he thought he is.”

“What do you want me to say?” he asked, throwing up his hands.

“I don’t want you to say anything,” she said, her smirk twisting into a wicked grin, her hand on her hip as usual, “I just want to revel in this.”

“You do that,” he said, “do you know where Veronica is?”

“How funny,” she said, before she went into a deadly serious tone, “look, Billy the Kid, Veronica made it clear that she didn’t want to be the Bonnie to your Clyde.”

“Heather, please-”

“Oh, so now you’re being nice to me,” she said, glaring at him. he sighed.

“I love her,” he said. Heather rolled her eyes.

“Yeah, because when you love someone, you threaten to kill them.”

“That’s not fair-”

“Can it. I might tolerate you if you help me with something,” she said. looking across the Westerburg Cafeteria towards Veronica.

“What?”

“Heather Duke thought she could replace me as head bitch of Westerburg,” Heather said.

“Yeah, I heard her say that,” JD said.

“Well, lately she’s been spreading some rumors about Veronica that aren’t very,” Heather said, “so, how about we pull the whole poltergeist schtick?” JD grinned.

“Since when do you have a soul?”

“Maybe you should have gotten to know me before ordering my execution,” Heather said, looking at her bright red nails.

“You’re not going to let that go, are you?” JD asked with a sigh.

“Nope.”


	11. Get Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> JD spends the night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> JDonica

This was an outlier. That’s what Veronica told herself. She wasn’t the kind of girl who snuck out, grabbing the keys to her family’s sedan on the way out.

 _If you say so,_ she heard Heather Chandler say. God, even beyond the grave, Heather was reveling in Veronica’s angst.

Though this really was an outlier, considering it wasn’t often that J.D. called Veronica’s house late at night, asking to crash with her, trailing off about his dad.Of course, she’d offered to get him. Not just because he was her boyfriend, but because that’s what any good person would do. Veronica was trying harder to be a good person, considering she hadn’t been the best at it lately.

She drove to J.D.’s house, cursing the fact that even though there were no cars on the road, she still had to follow the speed limit, because she didn’t want to get pulled and get caught driving past the cutoff time. Luckily his house wasn’t that far. She parked on the curb at the edge of the block. If it was bad enough for J.D. to call her, she didn’t want to raise any of Big Bud’s suspicions.

She locked the door and ran towards his window. Was this becoming their thing? She hoped not. She knocked gently, and he opened it, relief appearing on his face.

“Oh, Veronica, you couldn’t come soon enough,” he said. He pulled himself out through the window, and Veronica didn’t say anything about the bruise she saw on his wrist. Once he was out, she grabbed his hand and led him back towards the car.

The thing everyone forgets about sneaking out is that you usually have to sneak back in. Veronica thanked whatever deity would still have her at this point that her window lock was broken, making it easy for her and J.D. to sneak into her room. Once he got in, he took off his trench coat and grabbed one of her pillows.

“What are you doing with that?” she asked.

“Oh, sorry. I should have asked first. It’s just if I’m sleeping on the floor-”

“Why would you sleep on the floor?” Veronica asked with a frown.

“Well, I don’t think your parents know I’m here, so that rules out the couch, and-” Veronica cut him off by pointing to her bed.

“Look, you’re my boyfriend, and we’re hardly taking it slow, so sharing a bed isn’t that big a deal,” Veronica said, getting onto her bed, “Besides, I get the feeling you need some good old fashioned cuddling.” J.D. grinned before joining her on the bed.

“I wouldn’t be opposed to the idea,” he said. They held each other until they fell asleep. When Veronica woke up, J.D. was gone, and while she realized that it was probably for the best, she couldn’t shake the sinking feeling she had when she realized she was alone in her room again.


	12. Bang Bang

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Heather's the getaway girl.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TrenchcoatScrunchie Bonnie and Clyde AU

Heather pulled out her compact. Her lipstick was perfect. She knew that. Still it never hurt to double check. Plus she was bored. While J.D. was busy getting all the glory, she was stuck in the getaway car. Gag her with a spoon.

She heard gunshots and she closed her compact and turned the car engine on. It was showtime. Sure enough, J.D. ran out of the bank holding the cash and returning fire. He jumped in the car while firing one last shot.

“Drive!” He shouted right as she put her foot down hard on the accelerator. She rolled her eyes.

“What the fuck did you think I was going to do?” she asked.

“After the stunt you pulled last week-”

“ _Jesus_ , you’re making a big deal out of nothing!”

“You almost got us arrested again!” he shouted, although he was just slightly muffled by the wind as they sped past their crime scene.

“Almost. It didn’t happen,” Heather said, “besides, you’re the one who actually got us arrested.”

“You got me there,” he conceded, “but at least I have our bail for next time.” In response, Heather took one of her hands and put it over J.D.’s hand holding the money bag.


	13. Most Wanted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Veronica's day at work gets interesting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "I'm on the FBI's most-wanted list for killing a fuck ton of people, but calm down I just wanna date you bc your face is v smoochable and you give me butterflies" AU

Veronica Sawyer liked to think that she had her dream job. She had plenty of books to read on the job, the library patrons were usually polite, and the library was hardly ever busy. It was uneventful more in a peaceful way than a boring way.

That’s why it stood out when a guy about her age walked into the library out of breath and wearing a black trenchcoat.Granted, the library got strange patrons every now and then, but not this type of strange. Plus, even though she was sure that she had never seen this guy in her life, she could have sworn she knew his face from somewhere.

She pushed it out of her mind as she returned to her book. He was just browsing the shelves. Really she had no reason to judge him. He wasn’t hurting anyone.

“Excuse me,” she looked up and saw the stranger standing in front of her. She put her book down, and put on her well-rehearsed helpful reference desk employee smile.

“Can I help you with something?” She asked.

“Yeah, your website said you had a book in stock, but I’m having some trouble finding it.”

“Sure,” she said, “what’s the title?”

“ _Everything You Need to Know About Criminal Law_ “ 

"Okay,” Veronica said, typing it into her computer, “And can I get your name?”

“Why?” the stranger said, tensing up.

“It’s a procedure thing. I promise we’re not, like, monitoring you or whatever,” Veronica said, looking up at him expectantly.

“Um, Holden Caulfield,” he said, running a hand through his dark hair. She glared at him.

“Ha ha,” she said, “very funny.”

“What?” he said, and wow he was bad at pretending to be innocent.

“You’re giving a fake name from classic literature to a librarian,” Veronica said, “you might want to rethink that move, son.” She said the last part coyly with a smirk. Was she flirting with him? What was wrong with her?

“Sorry,” he said, “I guess I’m just, ah, paranoid.”

“I’ll say,” Veronica said, laughing, “I’ll put it in anyway.” She typed in the fake name and then clicked a few links before finding the title. “Okay, so it’s in the back. I can go get it for you.”

“That would be perfecto,” he said, smiling at her. She left the desk and went to the storage room, where they held the books that weren’t finished being checked in. When she walked in the door, she saw something that nearly made her scream.

There was a reason she knew his face: she walked past a picture of him every day, on the FBI most wanted list they had hanging. The guy whose smile just gave her butterflies, Jason Dean, was wanted for murder. How was this her life?

She tried to think of a plan. She kind of wanted to make it out of this encounter alive, after all. Okay, she couldn’t make a scene. He’d have to kill her so he wouldn’t leave any loose ends. That was a thing, right? At least in movies it was. So she took a few seconds to get herself together, so she could go out there, pretend she didn’t know he was a murderer, and then head into the back again to call the cops.

She grabbed the book, and headed out, trying to collect herself, and convince herself that her life wasn’t on the line.

“Here you go,” she said, handing him the book, “let me know if I can help you with anything else, J.D. Salinger!” Apparently he wasn’t fond of good natured joking, since he turned back to face her when she called him that.

“What did you say?” he asked. It was more fearful than she expected.

“Oh, I just called you J.D. Salinger since the fake name you gave me was from  _Catcher in the Rye._ ” She could feel her heart beating with a sudden intensity. No doubt there was a ton of adrenaline surging through her system.

“Oh.” he said simply. He went and sat in one of the chairs, and while he had the book open, he kept staring at her. She felt like she was going to throw up. This threw a wrench in her plans. She couldn’t call the cops. He would see it.

What was this guy’s damage? Veronica went back to her book, pretending to read, as if she could pay attention to anything right now. She hoped that Jason Dean the Serial Killer would stop staring at her. A few minutes later, she looked back at him, hoping that he was actually reading.

He was still staring at her. Maybe she would have to wait this out. She was sure this was the most nerve-wracking waiting she’s ever done. Might as well get back to her book.

She desperately tried to immerse herself in the world of fiction, but she was unsuccessful. She was putting in a futile effort when Jason Dean the Serial Killer walked up to her again. She froze in terror.

“You okay?” he asked, looking confused. Why didn’t she notice how tall and terrifying he was earlier?

“Please don’t kill me,” she blurted out. Great, Veronica, she thought, you just signed your writ of execution.

“What?” he asked, genuinely confused.

“I swear to God I won’t tell the police you’re here, since I know that snitches get stitches, or at least that’s what they say on TV,” she was babbling at this point, “I have parents who love and care about me and three best friends who kind of tolerate me, so please don’t kill me.”

“What are you talking about?” he asked.

“I know you’re Jason Dean and you’re on the FBI most wanted list,” she said, “I saw your picture when I went back to get your book.”

“That is not what I expected to hear,” he said, looking shocked.

“You’re not going to kill me, right?” she said. 

“No!” he said, “I actually was going to give you this.” He handed her a slip of paper. She unfurled it and saw ten digits written in messy handwriting.

“Is this your number?” She asked, confused. Why was a serial killer giving her his number unless…

Oh.

That’s why he was staring at her.

“Please don’t give it to the police,” he said, “I was going to ask if you wanted to go get coffee once your shift was done, but now that you think I might kill you, it’s not going to work.”

“I wouldn’t say that,” she said. What was wrong with her? This guy had killed people, and she was flirting with him. He perked up.

“Really?”

“I’m done at five,” she said. He grinned at her before walking out.

What had she gotten herself into?


	14. Damage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Heather Mac helps Veronica

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW for self-harm.

She didn’t want to say anything. Veronica was probably really sensitive, considering that she’d just lost her boyfriend. The last thing she needed would be her friend pointing out her physical imperfections. So she went about her usual routine: going to class, pretending to believe Heather when she’d said she’d go to a doctor for her bulimia, hanging out at the mall, visiting Heather’s grave, watching movies with Veronica and Martha.

It had been two weeks since the final Westerberg suicide. There were still burns lining Veronica’s hands and arms. Heather didn’t know much about medicine, but any burns from JD’s death should have healed by that point. Of course, she found out the reason when she pulled Veronica in from a smoke break.

It turned out that Veronica didn’t smoke. Instead, she held the lighter up to her hand before crying out in pain.

“Veronica?” Heather asked. Veronica flicked the lighter off and hid her hand.

“Heather, hey! I’ll be in in just a second,” she said. She was rocking on her feet a little. Veronica had never been good at hiding her nerves.

“What were you doing?”

“Oh, I burned myself on accident, it was no big deal,” Veronica said. It was a bit too quick to be genuine.

“What were you trying to do?”

“Hm?”

“Well, I mean, you didn’t have a cigarette, so you weren’t trying to light that. What else were you trying to do with the lighter?” Heather asked. She put on the naïve act that she had mastered over the years.

“Oh, um, funny story,” Veronica said with a nervous chuckle, “I don’t remember.”

“Veronica,” Heather said, all of the fake cluelessness gone from her voice.

“Heather, I’m really sorry.”

“For what?” Heather asked, unsure of where Veronica was going with the conversation.

“I’m sorry you found out about this,” Veronica said, slumping against the brick wall. Heather would have pointed out the cigarette butts on the floor, but obviously Veronica didn’t care, “I don’t want to drag you into my damage.”

Heather crouched down so that she was at eye level with Veronica, but after a while she realized that it wouldn’t work, so she ignored every thought of how disgusting the ground was before smoothing out her yellow skirt and sitting next to Veronica, holding the brunette’s hand.

“Veronica, you saved my life,” Heather said, putting her other hand on Veronica’s shoulder, “the least I can do is help you through this.”

“Please, Heather, I-”

“You’re my friend, and I hate seeing you go through this,” Heather said. Her tone was firm, which was incredibly rare for the tiny blonde, “I mean, I can’t even imagine what’s making you do this in the first place.”

“The pain distracts me, I guess,” Veronica said, with a sigh, “it makes me forget what a horrible person I am.”

“You’re not a horrible person,” Heather said, frowning. She had no idea where Veronica had even gotten that idea. Something about Heather’s statement triggered something in Veronica, because tears started to stream down her face.

“No, Heather,” she said, “I really, really am.”

“I think I do. None of what happened over the past few weeks was your fault,” Heather said gently. This made Veronica cry harder.

“You don’t understand,” Veronica said. She tried to elaborate, but all she could get out were sobs. Heather moved her hand from Veronica’s shoulder to her back, moving her hand in gentle circles.

“I know you’re a good person,” Heather said, “You wouldn’t have come after me if you weren’t.”

“But I’ve done some really terrible things,” Veronica said. She repeated phrases along those lines in between sobs. As Veronica moved her hand to wipe away her tears, Heather noticed that Veronica had put down her lighter. That’s when she decided to do something that surprised even her. She grabbed the lighter before Veronica could process anything and dropped it into the trashcan.

“Heather, what are you doing?” Veronica asked.

“Please don’t do this to yourself,” Heather said, “I know you’re going through a lot, but this doesn’t solve anything.”

“It’s my way of dealing,” Veronica said, quietly. Heather sat down beside her again.

“Then find another way,” Heather said, “I really, really hate to see you hurting yourself. Please.” She looked up at Veronica, her brown eyes issuing a silent plea.

“I’ll try,” Veronica whispered. Heather wrapped her up in a hug.

“That’s all I want,” she said. She realized that the problem probably wasn’t going to go away, but maybe she had taken a step towards helping Veronica, and that was important in and of itself.


	15. Clean

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Veronica moves on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by the Taylor Swift song.

Senior year was over. It was official. Veronica had her acceptance letter for Brown University hanging up in her room, and Heather McNamara was helping her get ready for their graduation ceremony.

“You’re valedictorian!” She said, running a curling iron through Veronica’s dark hair, “that’s exciting!”

“Thanks,” Veronica said, “the only thing that sucks is that I have to make a stupid speech.”

“Veronica, you’ll do great,” Heather said, running the curl around her finger, “you’re really smart and stuff.”

“Heather, you’re such a great friend,” Veronica said. She could see Heather smile in the mirror. “Why did they have to have this goddamn ceremony at the football field?”

“Well, it’s one of the biggest places in town-” Heather said, then she realized what the problem was, “oh, Veronica, I’m so sorry.”

“It is what it is,” Veronica said with a sigh, “at least they finally got it cleaned up.”

“Mh, yeah,” Heather said absently. She checked her yellow swatch and her brown eyes widened, “Oh, Roni, we need to go!”

“Okay,” Veronica said. They headed out the door, and Veronica regretted wearing heels. Why did she make that choice, anyway? It’s not like she wasn’t tall enough.

Veronica’s parents took lots of pictures of her with Martha, Heather, and Heather. Her navy blue dress was covered by a red robe, and she had finally gotten the weird hat placed just right. 

Something weird happened when the ceremony started, though. The regret and sadness that she felt over all of the deaths that year didn’t close over her. She still felt it, as she figured she always would, but she was together enough to give her speech. Fittingly enough, it was about moving forward, overcoming obstacles, and making the most out of life. Really, it was a standard graduation speech. 

Accepting her diploma felt anticlimactic. It wasn’t some big moment of triumph. It just was. Since she was valedictorian, she’d gotten her diploma first, and had the rest of the ceremony to think about that. Heather Chandler wasn’t even there to provide her smug, beyond-the-grave commentary.

After graduation, She didn’t really pay attention as she smiled for photos and chatted with acquaintances. Her parents asked her if she wanted to go out to dinner, but she opted for a raincheck, before grabbing the keys to the family car without warning.

It was the end of an era, and there was only one way to think of to usher it out. She stopped by 7-11, and got a cherry slurpee before heading over to the cemetery. She left it in front of JD’s grave before muttering, “goodbye, JD” and walking away.


	16. Running Away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Veronica and Heather Chandler commit a misdemeanor

“What is your damage, Heather?” Veronica asked. Her blue oxfords hit the ground with a steady rhythm. She was really wearing the wrong shoes for this, but it’s not like she could have expected to be an accomplice to property damage.“My damage?” Heather asked, and she either gasped in shock or gasped for air. Veronica couldn’t tell, since Heather was running just as fast as Veronica was.

“Yeah,” Veronica said. Her voice was breathy. “I know Ram is the textbook example of a major tool,  but isn’t slashing his tires a bit extreme?”

“You weren’t at the party last Friday because you were too busy being queen of the loser squad-”

“I had movie night with Martha!” Veronica said, glaring at Heather. She rolled her eyes.

“That’s what I said. Anyway, you weren’t at the party last weekend, but I was,” Heather said. She’d slowed down, which made sense, considering the significant distance between them and the crime scene, “and if you were there, you would have done the same thing.”

“Why?” Veronica asked. The last thing she wanted was to get into one of Heather Chandler’s never-ending feuds.

“Okay, so apparently, Dwight walked in on Ram making out with some rando from Jefferson of all places. Naturally, since Dwight is Dwight, he told everyone at the party.”

“I thought Ram had a thing with Heather Duke,” Veronica said, her brows creasing. Heather shot her a pointed look.

“I’m getting to that. God, Veronica, you’re such a pillowcase,” Heather said, “anyway, Heather hears about this and she starts bawling. It is so annoying. Heather and I had to stay with her all night so that creepy weirdos wouldn’t try anything with her. Considering how shitty THAT made my night, I figured Ram deserved a little payback.”

“Not because he made Heather Duke upset,” Veronica said with a smirk. This made Heather glare at her.

“Do I look like I give a shit about Heather Duke?”

“Considering you spent all night consoling her-”

“Shut up, Veronica.”

“No way,” Veronica said with a bit of a chuckle, “I find this hilarious.”

“Veronica, shut up or I will have to do something drastic.”

“You just slashed a guy’s tires, I think you’ve met your limit of drastic actions for the-” Veronica was cut off, as Heather shoved her face onto Veronica’s, kissing her with an unexpected intensity. It took a few seconds for Veronica to realize what was going on, but once she did, she started kissing back, until Heather broke the kiss.

“I told you I’d do something drastic,” She said, her signature smirk forming on her lips, highlighting the fact that her lipstick was slightly smeared.

“That’s not exactly the best deterrent,” Veronica said, grinning.

“Well, I can’t piss you off too much,” Heather muttered, “I still need you around. Those absence notes won’t forge themselves.” The statement lacked Heather’s usual malice, and Veronica had to stop herself from cheering. This was so very.


	17. Viva La Resistance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Heather Chandler and JD fight for freedom

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "TrenchcoatScrunchie Les Mis AU

“Who did Mrs. Phlegm think she was trying to kid with that disguise?” Heather said. She was snuggled up in a corner of the barricade, playing with her hair, “she’s the farthest thing from a student revolutionary there is.”

“Well, you’re here, and I don’t think anyone would have expected that,” JD said, narrowing his eyes before he fired a shot back at the police.

“I care about things sometimes,” Heather said.

“I’d buy that from one of the other Heathers,” JD said, “you? not so much.” She glared at him, and drew her blood red coat tighter over her frame.

“There are a lot of things you don’t know about me, asshole.”

“I’d like to find out,” JD said. There were more gunshots around them, and he pulled her down to avoid the line of fire, “if we survive this.”

“God, please tell me you’re not one of those revolutionaries who insist we die for the cause,” Heather groaned. JD shrugged.

“Ideally I’d like to get out of this alive,” he said, “but if I’m going to die, I may as well go out fighting.”

“That’s oddly poetic,” Heather muttered, “complete bullshit, but poetic nevertheless.”

“That’s what I’m studying, after all,” JD said with a smirk. Heather rolled her eyes.

“Ugh, believe me, Veronica has told me about that more than once.” They were still down when another round of gunshots went off. In the distance, they saw one of their fellow revolutionaries fall. For a second, they both froze in shock, then JD had a cold look in his eye.

“Those fucks will pay for that,” he said, grabbing his gun and aiming through the barricade.

“Wait!” Heather said, putting a hand on his arm. He stopped for a second, turning towards her. His hand moved away from the trigger.

“What?” he asked, impatient.

“I want to try,” she said, a wicked smirk forming on her face. JD was surprised by this.

“Heather, if you don’t know what you’re doing, you could end up hurt,” he said, his voice softer than usual, “or worse.”

“I know what I’m getting into,” Heather said, sighing, “now hand me the goddamn gun.”

She got in a few really good shots, much to the surprise around everyone around her. Then, the worst happened. In the return of fire, she got hit. She reeled back and fell. JD just barely caught her. He couldn’t see blood. He hoped that it was because the shot had missed and she just fell because of shock, but a voice in the back of his head reminded him that it was probably hidden by her red jacket.

He undid the buttons, and sure enough, a dark red spot was quickly forming on Heather’s blouse. Her eyes fluttered as she slowly lost consciousness.

“Heather? Heather?” One of the other revolutionaries (Veronica, maybe?) said, scooping her out of his arms, “Heather, stay with us!”

For the first time in the course of this revolution, he didn’t know what to do. This wasn’t one of the things they’d discussed in the café, when they talked of revolution.

He heard Heather cough. There was no way that she could fully recover from that kind of a shot, but maybe somehow she would live. She coughed some more, and everyone had their attention towards her.

“Corn… nuts.” she muttered, and then she was still. Heather McNamara, the unofficial medic for the students, looked solemn as she said what everyone already knew.

“She’s dead.”

As the fight continued, JD found that he couldn’t really concentrate. He halfheartedly gave orders to his fellow fighters, but he couldn’t seem to pull himself together. Maybe that’s why he didn’t hear that final gunshot.

 


	18. Please don't leave me alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> JD tries to make sense of things in his grief.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Veronica died/JD lived AU"

JD never expected that he would be genuinely sad at the memorial for Westerburg High’s student body. Then again, he expected that Veronica would be by his side, instead of six feet under. He was bluffing when he threatened to kill her! There was no way he would have fired the gun at her on purpose, but when they fought for it in the boiler room, it accidentally went off, hitting Veronica.

Of course, the news was fascinated by the subject of finding Veronica Sawyer’s lifeless body outside of the school that later blew up, figuring she decided to take her life on her own terms rather than in a pact with her peers. Even though the Dean house was bombarded with reporters, JD didn’t give a statement. After all, what would he say?

He tried to lose himself in the various books of poetry he had in his room, but some repetitive tapping noise distracted him. He looked up and saw Heather Chandler

“I thought I killed you!” He hissed. He didn’t know what his father would do if he found out JD was seeing ghosts, but JD didn’t want to find out.

“Thanks for that,” Heather said, sarcasm dripping from her voice, “I don’t know how this thing works, but since Veronica’s dead, you’re next in line for us to follow you around.”

“Us?” JD asked. Before he could think of an explanation, the question was answered in the most horrifying way possible.

“‘Sup, Bo Diddley.”


	19. Misqueme

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Misqueme: To displease, offend

“God, Veronica,” Heather Chandler said, rolling her eyes, “how much time do you spend with your head buried in that fucking diary?”

Veronica looked up from the small book she was writing in and scowled.

“What is your damage Heather?” Veronica asked, pretending to be calm, even though rage was starting to boil inside her.

“You’re ignoring everything I’ve done for you,” Heather said, staring her down with one of her perfect eyebrows raised, “I mean, before I took you under my wing, you were playing Barbies with Martha Dumptruck.”

“Shit, Heather!” Veronica said, “You don’t really have anything against Martha _Dunnstock_ , do you?”

"I don’t have anything for her, either,” Heather said absently. This really set Veronica off. Before she could even think, she moved to slap Heather. Heather caught her arm before it hit her face, a wicked grin appearing on her face. She grabbed the collar of Veronica’s blazer and pulled her down so that she and Heather were nose to nose.

“You know what, Veronica?"I’ve been feeling really altruistic lately.” The malicious gleam in Heather’s eye kept Veronica from making a sarcastic retort, “but if you keep on testing me, you’ll be a nobody- no, worse- you’ll be an ex somebody. Understand?”

Veronica nodded quickly. She really wanted Heather to let go of her. She really wanted Heather to leave her alone.

She really wanted Heather to stop looking at her like that.

Heather didn’t loosen her grip on Veronica’s blazer. Instead, she pulled her in and planted a quick kiss on her lips, and then looked directly at Veronica with her eyes narrowed.

“You’re lucky that wasn’t a kiss of death,” Heather said, looking oddly pleased with herself. She eased her gaze from Veronica, “remember, join the team or die alone!”

With that, she sauntered off, leaving Veronica to wonder just what the fuck had happened.


	20. Piñata

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A birthday party brings up unpleasant memories for Veronica.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kid's birthday party for adults- McNamawyer

“Who wants to take the first swing at the piñataaaaaa?” Heather asks, holding up the bat a bit more casually than she should. In that moment, Veronica feels uneasy. Not because her girlfriend was waving a bat around at her birthday party, but because it had brought back the memories of Ram’s homecoming party.

“Dude! That reminds me-” Speak of the devil. Apparently Veronica wasn’t the only one getting flashbacks, as the ghost of Kurt Kelly was laughing. He and Ram then got into their typical debate of “Fatty magnet!” “Skid marks!” before Heather Chandler shut them up.

“Can I do it?” Martha asked. Veronica tensed up. Apparently no one else sensed her unease, since Heather brought her head cheerleader spirit to the game.

“Sure!” Heather said. She made quick work of tying a blindfold around Martha’s eyes, removing Martha’s glasses and setting them aside gingerly. She then brought out the piñata, and Veronica had never felt more relieved in her life.

It was a giant star that said “Happy 18th Birthday Veronica!!!” with a little smiley face drawn on it. Heather tethered the giant star and then let Martha loose on the piñata with the bat, cheering her on. Once everything had reached a certain rhythm, Heather went to Veronica’s side.

“Is it weird that I was freaked out for a second?” Veronica asked. Heather tilted her head to the side.

“Why would you be freaked out?”

“Remember Ram’s homecoming party?” Veronica asked. She hated talking to Heather like this. She knew that the blonde would take this way too personally. Still, it was a conversation that they needed to have. “I was worried it would be like that.”

“Oh.” Heather said. She was uncharacteristically somber. She paused for a moment, thinking, before adding, “I didn’t even want to do that.”

“What?”

“It was Heather’s idea,” Heather explained. “She and Heather were so convinced that it was going to be very, and I didn’t want to stop them, so I just kind of went along with it.”

“So I don’t have to worry about any issues with you and Martha?” Veronica asked.

“No, Roni. Now that I’ve gotten to know her, Martha’s not that bad,” Heather said with a smile. She stood on her tiptoes to give Veronica a quick kiss before turning over the piñata to someone else.

“Get a room,” a voice that sounded a lot like Heather Chandler said. Veronica couldn’t help but ignore her as she walked up to Heather and held her hand.


	21. Finals Week

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Veronica gives Heather more than she wants.

For one brief moment, Veronica could appreciate her life during finals week. The second floor lounge was quiet, with the exception of JD turning pages next to her on the couch. Of course, like all peaceful moments in Veronica’s life over the past semester, it was ruined by the demons down the hall.

“Veronicaaaaa!” Heather Chandler said, poking her head in the doorway. Veronica exchanged a very brief look with JD.

“What, Heather?” Veronica said. She closed her biology textbook and set it aside before getting up to talk to Heather.

“I need you to do a forgery in my Lit professor’s handwriting,” Heather said.

“What are you trying to get out of?” Veronica said with a sigh.

“My sociology paper,” Heather said. “Basically just say ‘Professor Matthews, Heather couldn’t complete her paper because she was busy with work from my class.’”

“Fine, Heather.” Veronica said. She’d given up on trying to negotiate any sort of compensation, and just did whatever the Heathers told her out of fear of retribution.

“What did she want?” JD asked. Veronica rolled her eyes.

“Another forgery,” Veronica said. JD made a noise of disapproval before going back to his history readings. They sat in silence for a few minutes as they studied before Veronica slammed her textbook dramatically.

“What if we gave Heather a bonus forgery?” JD said.

“What?”

“Well, you know how to do your RA’s handwriting, right? And none of the Heathers are particularly subtle about their rule breaking. So what if we gave them a bit of a scare?” JD said. Veronica grinned in response before tearing out a page from her notebook, and writing in their RA’s neat lettering. She finished the letter and held it up for inspection.

“Tell me the resemblance is not impeccable?” Veronica said.

“They might as well be the same,” JD said, and Veronica beamed upon receiving the compliment. She and JD bolted down the hall before sliding the note under the door and running back to the floor lounge. The adrenaline was still flowing through Veronica’s system when she got back. Maybe it was the fact that she could hear her heart beating, but she was far less interested in biology.

“Screw studying,” Veronica said. “I’m going to go see Heather’s reaction.”

“Let me know how it goes!” JD called after her, as she bolted down the hall, trying to hide her excitement.


	22. The next ten minutes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The moment is nothing like Veronica dreamed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Loosely inspired by a combination of "let's go see the dinosaurs" from "The Next Ten Minutes" from The Last Five Years and "We're what killed the dinosaurs" in "Our Love is God".

Veronica wasn’t used to being in the museum this late. Granted, that wasn’t surprising, since normally the museum was closed at this time at night. However, JD had pulled some strings, since “we hardly ever get together, Veronica. I might as well make it special.”

And make it special he did. He’d gotten them access to the museum after it had closed, so that they were the only ones there. The halls were devoid of the usual chattering tourists, leaving only the bad special effects soundtrack the museum felt the need to play so that you really felt like you were in the Jurassic era.

Well, that and the sound of combat boots. Veronica turned away from the little plaque in front of the triceratops skeleton to see JD, with his hands in the pockets of his signature black trench coat.

“This is my favorite area” he said. She grinned. He walked towards her.

“Really?” She said. He put his arm around her, and she draped her arms around his neck.

“Yeah,” he said, with a bit of a hum, although Veronica was barely paying attention, since she was too busy getting lost in how brown his eyes were. “It reminds me of change.”

“How does that work?”

“You know, the dinosaurs were here, and then along came the asteroid and wiped them out,” he said. His tone didn’t change, but something shifted in Veronica. She was no longer in the mood to be lovey-dovey, hit with the cold reality of everything that had happened senior year. Granted, he’d done nothing to validate the doubt that had always been lingering since he’d promised they’d be normal. She kissed him. Her need to get him to stop talking like that far outweighing the worry that he would get a sense of approval from her. He must have sensed her hesitation, because he pulled away.

“But enough talk about the past,” he said, “I want to talk about the future. Specifically our future.” He rummaged around the various pockets of his trench coat.

“JD, to be honest, I haven’t thought a lot about what I’m going to do after college, I mean-” Veronica started, but JD held up a finger and looked her in the eye, before returning to searching his coat. A few seconds later, he seemed to find what he was looking for, and he pulled a small box out of his pocket.

“I don’t think either of us really have our futures planned out, I mean we’re twenty. But I do know one thing,” he said, “I want to spend it with you.” JD said, and Veronica realized what was in the box. She could barely concentrate because of all of the emotions flooding through her.

“Wait, give me a second,” she said. She was supposed to be happy. Why wasn’t she happy?

 _What a Kodak moment_ , she heard from somewhere. Even though the owner of the voice had been dead for three years, she still heard it perfectly clearly. That was why. Still, he hadn’t done anything since what happened with Kurt and Ram. She took a few seconds to think. While she was still confused, at least she could somewhat pay attention.

“Sorry about that,” she said. Her voice was inexplicably breathy, “go ahead.” He chuckled, and then got down on one knee.

“Veronica Sawyer, will you marry me?” he said, opening the box. She didn’t know why, but something about seeing JD’s face as he awaited her answer made her realize something: He was fine now. If she kept up her end of the deal, maybe he’d keep maintaining his. It always felt like a rule of their relationship that remained unspoken. He’d stopped killing people for her. Looks like Veronica would have to spend longer than three years trying not to think of the implications of that.

“Yes,” she said finally. He got up, held her close and kissed her cheek before grabbing her left hand gently.

“You know I’m not exactly raking in the dough, so it’s not real diamond-” he said, but she cut him off.

“It’s beautiful.” She said. She ignored the snide remark Heather made, or wold have made had she been alive. Then he kissed her.

Yes, their relationship had a lot of flaws. Yes, Veronica was unsure if this was where she really wanted to be. There were so many imperfections surrounding everything, but Veronica wanted just one moment where she didn’t have to think about that. One perfect, blissful moment.


	23. Betty is missing and Westerburg is scary

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Veronica captures a vampire, but it doesn't solve her problems.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ChanSaw Carmilla AU. Character death ahead.

“Maybe this is overkill,” Martha muttered, eyeing Heather Chandler, who was currently tied up with her mouth duct taped and twelve cloves of garlic surrounding her.

“No,” Veronica said, shooting her a look. They had prepared for this. They couldn’t be too cautious. Not with all of the vampire powers, creepy dreams and seduction eyes (although JD was the only one worried about the latter).

“I smashed my head into a table if anyone cares,” Duke announced loudly, although Martha was already applying an ice pack. “And that Zeta guy, Ram, has a fractured clavicle.”

“Bumps and bruises aside, we did it!” Veronica said, pumping her fist in the air. Her web audience was going to love this. After all of this work, after she and Duke almost got killed in the library. After almost getting bitten had JD not stepped in at exactly the right moment, they could finally solve this mystery. Betty Finn would be back, Courtney and Tara would stop being pod people and return to their usual country clubber and goth girl selves, and everything would be as close to normal as Westerburg could be.

Or maybe not. They heard a scream from outside. Ram entered, uncharacteristically solemn.

“Guys, I can’t find Tara, and I think Courtney’s- well…” Instantly, Martha and Duke ran off, leaving Veronica and JD on vampire-sitting duty. They sat in silence. When they came back, they were just as quiet as Ram was when he entered.

“We’ll get the results from the sludge samples back in a few days,” Duke said. Clarifying that Tara had gone missing. Ram was beside himself.

“I was worried about her so I told her to stay put… I didn’t know!” He said. Martha put a hand gently on his shoulder. Suddenly he was angry and shaking Heather.

“WHY DID YOU DO THAT TO HER, HUH? WHAT DID SHE EVER DO TO YOU?”

“She wasn’t there!” JD said, pulling Ram off of Heather. He left, muttering something about how “a dude needs to be with his bros”.

After a great deliberation, they decided that even though Heather seemed to have no involvement in this disappearance, they still couldn’t just let her go.

“So, Vampire,” Veronica said, her eyes narrowed, “We know you were involved in those disappearances, and we know… you’re a vampire! We’ve got croquet mallets! We’ve got drain cleaner! And we’re not afraid to use them, so spill!”

The statement was met with silence until Duke got Veronica’s attention.

“She’s still got duct tape on,” Duke snapped. Veronica looked over at Heather, who looked back at her with a quirked eyebrow.

“Maybe this will get you talking!” Veronica said dramatically, ripping off the duct tape. Heather reeled a bit before responding.

“I didn’t do anything, you idiots!” She snarled. Veronica, Martha, Duke, and JD all exchanged a look. 

“You really think we’re going to believe that?” Veronica asked, holding up a croquet mallet threateningly. 

“If I was really a vampire, would I just sit here proclaiming my innocence?” Heather drawled. Duke looked taken aback.

“Yes, that’s… exactly what a vampire would do.”

“We have proof!” JD said, and everyone but Heather nodded in agreement.

“Bet you wish you’d watched my journalism project now,” Veronica said smugly.

“I think I got the gist of it,” Heather said. Then she started to do an imitation of Veronica “Oh, no! Betty is missing and Heather is mean! Westerburg is so scary!”

“Ignoring that, if you weren’t a vampire, then why were you at all of the parties those girls disappeared at!” Veronica said.

“People actually like me, unlike you,” Heather said, “I get invited to tons of parties.”

“Still, why were you flirting with me, unless-” Veronica stopped as Heather raised her eyebrows. “Oh, you were actually flirting with me.”

“I was trying to, anyway, until these pillowcases tied me up,” she sighed.

“That still doesn’t explain anything,” Veronica said, “if you want us to trust you, you have to tell us your side of the story.” Why was she being nice to her vampire roommate? She’d only recently found out that Heather was hitting on her instead of trying to eat her.

“My side of the story?” Heather said. She snorted in derision. “Buckle up, Creampuffs, because you’re in for a long night.”


	24. Heart and Soul

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Heathers get a soul after spring break. Chaos ensues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Modern supernatural AU

It’s been a while since I’ve watched Buffy. I may have gotten a bit creative with how the whole soul thing works.

Set in modern times because why not. Also Veronica’s copy of  _Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire_ may or may not resemble my own.

“Veronica. It’s just like that scene in _Harry Potter._ You know, Veronica, when Voldemort is like ‘I can touch you now’. And then he walks up to Harry and pokes his forehead. And then, Veronica, Harry is in pain because Voldemort is touching him, Veronica.”

"JD, calm down and stop saying my name so much,” Veronica said, nonchalantly spinning the wheel to unlock her locker, “I’ve read Harry Potter. You’ve seen my copy of _Goblet of Fire_ that the cover fell off of because I read it so much. This isn’t like that.”

"Veronica, Heather Chandler drank holy water and didn’t die!” JD said.

“Because she has a soul now,” Veronica said, rolling her eyes. JD paused.

“What?" 

"Yeah, the Heathers got their souls back over spring break,” Veronica said with a shrug. JD stared at her, incredulous.

“How do you know that.”

“I’m a witch, remember?” she said, pointing to herself, “plus they texted me after it happened.”

“So what’s going to happen now?” JD asked. Veronica thought for a second before answering.

“Well, I know Heather Mac’s going to be crying in the bathroom after she remembers all of the stuff she did before she got her soul back, and as for Heather and Heather, we’ll have to wait and see.”

—

“And of course they’re serving garlic bread with lunch,” Heather Chandler said with a sigh. Heather, Heather, and Veronica were sitting at their usual lunch table. Heather was unable to join them, because Ms. Fleming had managed to get Heather to come into her office to “talk” and “feel”. Which meant Heather was going to cry in Ms. Phlegm’s office while Phlegm patted herself on the back for being sympathetic towards a vampire.

“How does having a soul impact your ability to eat garlic?” Veronica asked, a piece of garlic bread in her hand. Heather rolled her eyes.

“I don’t give a shit whether or not it does,” she said, “it’s fattening. I just think the school should stop serving it because of the whole obesity thing.”

“Wow, Heather,” Veronica said, genuinely shocked, “I didn’t know having your soul back would change you so much.”

“It didn’t” Heather said, shooting Veronica her trademarked death glare, “I just don’t want to look at fatties all day.”

“Speaking of,” Heather Duke said, eyeing the garlic bread. She looked away, “never mind.”

Maybe having a soul had changed the Heathers. Heather Duke would have probably said something about how Veronica could stand to skip the garlic bread.

“This having a soul thing is the worst,” Heather said, sipping her iron-fortified smoothie, “I had to cancel like half of my plans because I felt guilty about making them in the first place.”

“Yeah, none of the other vampires want to hang out with me,” Heather Duke said. Veronica was expecting some comment about how the other vampires never wanted to hang out with Heather Duke in the first place, but it never came. Wow, maybe now that the Heathers had souls, she was the worst person in the group. She shook the thought out of her head.

“Maybe you can come over and watch a movie,” Veronica said.

“Ew, like you do with Martha Dumptruck?” Heather said, “hard pass.”

“Speaking of, you’re not going to try to eat her again, right?” Veronica said, recalling Heather’s plan from Ram Sweeney’s homecoming/full moon party.

“No” the two Heathers said in unison.

“We don’t drink blood from people without their permission now,” Heather said.

“Except maybe for Van Helsing,” Heather said with a laugh, “God, did you see his face when I downed his precious holy water? CLASSIC!” Naturally, the last person Veronica wanted to hear this comment was more than within earshot. Perfect.

“I can still stake you, you know,” JD said. He walked up to the table and put his arms around Veronica protectively. She pushed him away.

“You wouldn’t kill something with a soul, though,” Heather said. She pretended to pout. It was so obvious that she was baiting JD, and it was so obvious that he was falling for it.

“Try me!” JD said. However, he found he couldn’t move.

“What the fuck?” Apparently, neither could Heather. Maybe that spell had worked better than Veronica had expected.

“You two are going to be civil,” Veronica said, trying to maintain eye contact with both of them at once and only being somewhat unsuccessful.

“but-”

“Or else I’m going to hex you back to wherever you came from, capisce?”

“Fine,” Heather said, rolling her eyes. She knew better than to mess with Veronica’s powers, since she knew them better than even Veronica did. Veronica glared at JD until he agreed, and then she let them go.

“This isn’t over,” JD said to Heather.

“Whatever,” Heather said, and she flipped him off as he walked away.


	25. Cuddlepile

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Supernatural AU- werewolf Heathers

If Veronica died from this, what a way to go. She couldn’t breathe right now because she had a giant wolf sitting on her chest, asleep.

“Heather, move,” Veronica said, halfheartedly shoving her werewolf best friend/worst enemy. The reddish-gold wolf made a sound that was halfway between a growl and a groan. Granted, even if Heather did move, that would also dislodge Heather Duke, who had her head resting on the other end of Heather’s back. Heather McNamara was resting on Veronica’s knee.

Except there was one problem. Veronica felt super dehydrated. She was only a few feet away from a glass of water, but with three wolves resting on her, she couldn’t get up.

Veronica tried to figure out a way to wriggle out of this configuration, but she couldn’t think of one. Then she sighed. How could she forget? She was a witch.

Granted, her powers weren’t even close to fully developed, but they’ve worked for her before. So she concentrated on the glass of water, thought in detail about how it would get over to her. She muttered a few words under her breath, trying not to wake the sleeping Heathers because they were so cute when they weren’t being mean. Amazingly, it had made it most of the way to her. Veronica thought this might actually work. Then,

_Crash!_

The glass fell on the floor, shattering. All three Heathers bolted upright. Heather Duke realized that it was just a glass of water and then went back to sleep. Heather Chandler growled at Veronica and barked. Heather McNamara completely lost it. She started running around in circles barking and howling, which made Heather Chandler even more upset. Veronica just sighed and got up to clean the remnants of the glass.


	26. Happy New Year, Heather Chandler!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Heather Chandler and JD ring in the new year ghostly revenge style.

So this was inspired by a conversation I had with [rachpunzel](http://tmblr.co/mdLGUh8S_sXgpmdd2XOD41A) about Psychoscrunchie. (side note: Rachel is gr9, and the fact that she’s co starring with me in a hypothetical three person production of Heathers doesn’t hurt)

Anyway, happy new year, everyone!

Heather Chandler was still getting used to the new power structure of Westerburg High. Granted, the only reason things had changed was because  _some asshole_ decided it would be funny to kill her. Joke was on JD though, because they were still scraping his remains off the football field when holiday break rolled around. It had only added insult to injury when Heather Duke took power after Heather’s death, but after JD went boom, Veronica seized power. Heather always knew Veronica had a little bit of mythic bitch in her.

Of course Heather Duke invited Westerburg’s benevolent queen bee to her New Year’s party. She was power hungry and smart. There was no way she wanted to be on Veronica’s bad side. _What a fake bitch_ , Heather thought.

“You know she doesn’t actually like you,” Heather told Veronica.

“She didn’t really like you either” Veronica muttered, careful not to be loud enough to be overheard.

“She’s got a point.” Oh no. Oh fucking no. He was NOT allowed in on Heather and Veronica’s girl talk.

“Fuck Off,” Heather told JD.

“I’m just saying that maybe meaningfully marking up Heather’s copy of Moby Dick wasn’t such a bad idea.”

“Shut up,” Veronica hissed.

“Yeah, and do you really think that Westerburg would just fall into anarchy? Someone else would take her place. If you had it your way, fucking Courtney would be in charge or some shit,” Heather said.

“Why do you sincerely not believe that things can change?” he asked.

“I’m not having this conversation,” she said. She went off to scare Mrs. Fleming. That always cheered her up.

Heather’s New Years party had a pathetic turn out. Sure, almost the whole school was there, but that was really it. If this had been a Heather Chandler party, it would have included all of the creme de la creme of Westerburg (NOT Martha Dumptruck) and all of the other high schools in the area, and even some major players over at Remington University.

It wasn’t a Heather Chandler party, though. Instead it was a really boring party. It didn’t help that she couldn’t socialize, being dead and all. For a second, she wondered if maybe she should have gone with Kurt and Ram to see if anyone was hooking up in one of the bedrooms of the Duke house. Then she realized that was a fucking stupid idea.

Instead, Heather eavesdropped. She listened in on Heather and Courtney’s conversation (since when was Heather nice to Courtney?) about where Heather got the decorations, she listened to Tracy’s pot-addled ramblings, but nothing held her interest until she overheard that one goth girl talking to the asshole who always hung out with Kurt and Ram that Heather never really cared about.

“Maybe Heather McNamara’s New Year’s resolution will be to actually kill herself,” Goth girl said with a laugh.

“That’s kind of a problem for Veronica, since hers is probably to be not so annoying that she makes people want to kill themselves,” preppy asshole said with a laugh, “I mean, first Heather Chandler and then her boyfriend? She must be on her period like all the time.”

“He did not just say that,” she heard JD say.

“I know! I don’t give enough of a shit about Veronica to kill myself because of her.” Heather said. JD glared at her.

“I swear to God the world would be a better place if Westerburg had gone up in flames.”

“Yeah, well you fucked that up, didn’t you, Red Dawn?” Heather asked. Even in death, she still knew how to break people.

“Let’s scare them,” JD said, “teach them a lesson.”

“I know not having a mommy fucked you up, but you can’t just kill people.”

“I wasn’t going to! Why does everyone assume the worst about me?” JD asked.

“Because you tried to kill 300 people.”

“One time!” he said. Heather rolled her eyes and then got to concocting a plan.

“God, you’re so verbose,” Heather said, as JD took a sharpie that was left by the side of a passed-out and vandalized Dwight and wrote on a streamer. “And not in a good way.”

“I’m impressed you know a fifty-cent word,” JD said as he continued writing.

“‘Myriad’ was an outlier. Veronica only knows I missed it on my vocab quiz because I normally ace those,” Heather said. JD finished the note, and stuck the streamer between the duo that was gossiping about Veronica.

The results were hilarious. The two freaked out, and the preppy asshole shrieked. Seriously, Heather was surprised it was even a frequency that humans could hear. Of course, this got the attention of everyone else at the party. The goth girl showed them the streamer. Heather Duke examined it before laughing.

“Really? You’re pretending to get a message from Heather beyond the grave?” Heather laughed “That’s pathetic. I mean, I thought I’d seen the worst of the geeks trying to do something that will make them popular, but this takes the cake!”

Everyone started laughing and making fun of the two, until Heather noticed the clock.

“Attention everyone, it’s almost 1990!” she said. Sure enough, the new year was 20 seconds away. Everyone started counting down.

“5… 4… 3…. 2… 1…”

Heather was taken by surprised when Billy the Kid kissed her of all things. She was even more surprised when she didn’t pull away.

“What’s your damage?” She asked once the kiss was over.

“You just seemed like one of those people who would throw a fit if they didn’t get a New Year’s kiss. So I was just trying to avoid more suffering in my after-life,” he said. She rolled her eyes, but not with the usual degree of contempt.

“Freak,” she muttered. He just smirked.


	27. Three sentence fics

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Exactly what it sounds like.

**Chansaw "Orange is the new black" AU**

Veronica was apprehensive about heading down to the laundry room where Heather worked, since Heather had gotten her arrested and thrown in jail in the first place, but she figured she couldn’t avoid her. Of course, she lost her cool the second she saw Heather’s perfectly made up face. Of course, Heather just smirked in response and kissed her on the cheek.

**Chansaw Hogwarts AU**

How Heather Chandler had solved the riddle to get into the Ravenclaw common room, Veronica would never know. Still she was sitting in a plush chair reading, clearly waiting for Veronica to enter.

“We need to talk,” Heather said, and Veronica felt like she’d just seen a bogart.

**McNamawyer Wicked AU**

Heather should have gone with Veronica five years ago. Now, Veronica was a fugitive, and well, the banner that hung up said it all about Heather’s life.

“Congradulotions on your engagement!”

**JDonica Hunger Games AU**

The canon went off, and all Veronica could think of was to make sure it wasn’t one person. She’d already lost Heather, she couldn’t lose him. She saw JD, alive, startled and armed, and kissed him, not caring about the cameras for the first time since she entered the arena.

**JD/Beleaguered Geek "Too Many Cooks" AU**

“We can’t kill people!”

“Well, if we kidnap them it comes back to us.”

“Dammit, why do you always have to be right.”

**JDonica kindergarten AU**

“This needs to end,” Veronica said.

“Or what,” JD said with a sneer.

“OR I WON’T MARRY YOU UNDER THE SLIDE!”

**Mrs. Fleming/Ram Hogwarts AU**

“Isn’t it bad enough that I got hexed by Bo Diddley?” Ram said, sitting across from Mrs. Fleming in her office.

“Unfortunately, I have to dock points from Gryffindor,” she said.

“I can change your mind,” Ram said with a smirk.

**JDonica Magic School Bus AU**

“Want to ditch this field trip for 7/11?” JD asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Normally, I’d say yes, but Mrs. Fleming’s field trips tend to be… interesting,” Veronica replied. JD found out what she meant when the class went to the bottom of the ocean and Kurt and Ram almost got eaten by a shark.

**Chandlemara Marvel AU**

It was hard for Heather Chandler to imagine the tiny blonde was a super soldier, but the realization hit her when Heather McNamara punched a giant alien. Heather fired a perfectly placed shot, and Heather McNamara was reminded why the unpowered spy was a part of the Avengers.

“We make a good team,” Heather Mac said, and Heather Chandler nodded in agreement.

**JDonica Superhero AU**

Veronica coughed as the dust settled, and ran into the hole in the wall with her bow in hand, ready to fight the kidnappers inside.

“You need to stop doing that,” she shouted at JD.

“Never,” he said as he caused another explosion, “it’s too much fun!”


	28. [Cheerful Music]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ChanSaw Parks and Rec AU

Heather Chandler hated Veronica’s guts. Veronica didn’t know what she’d done to earn Heather’s hatred, but it seemed to have a no return policy. Veronica was stuck bearing the brunt of Heather’s torment.

That is, until Heather was admitted to the hospital with a 104 degree fever. Oh, how the turntables had… wait, that wasn’t the expression. Whatever. The point was, Heather was stuck in the care of Veronica Sawyer, RN, and Veronica was going to make Heather like her if it was the last thing she did.

Veronica walked into Heather’s room at the hospital, surprisingly cheerful despite the hectic flu season. Heather was awake and ready for her.

“Stay back, wench!” Heather said, aiming a spoon at her while maintaining a feverish look in her eye.

Maybe this would be the last thing Veronica did.


	29. Lick it up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Parenting isn't always easy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Lick it up, baby! Lick it up!" in a different context.

“Lick it up, baby, lick. it. up.” Heather said to their one-year-old, who had no interest in eating her food.

“Heather, don’t talk to Jordan like that,” Veronica said. Jordan didn’t seem to care about the way her mom was talking to her.

It was hardly the first time that Heather and Veronica had disagreed on how to raise Jordan Sawyer-Chandler. In fact, even Jordan’s name had taken months of arguing, before the compromise of a name from The Great Gatsby that still sounded modern was finally chosen.

“I’ll be more civil when she FREAKING EATS!” Heather said. Although at least some of her frustration was due to the fact that she couldn’t swear around their toddler.

“Here, I can get her to eat if you can call the preschool about getting her in,” Veronica said, sighing and putting down the phone. Heather beamed. She may not be able to get a one-year-old to eat, but she was amazing at intimidating people in power.

“That? I can do.” Heather said, and she and Veronica traded places.


	30. Brains

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Heather and Heather switch roles when the world ends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chanduke zombie AU

“Heather! I shot one!” Heather Chandler said. She and Heather Duke were surrounded by zombies on all sides. Heather Duke nodded curtly.

“Good job, Heather” she said. It was odd how their roles had reversed once Heather Duke learned how to use her pent up aggression to fight zombies. Of course, it helped that she was fighting alongside the source of that aggression.

“Just ‘good job, Heather’? ” Heather Chandler said, a little hurt.

“I’m kind of too busy to praise you,” Heather said, bashing in one of the zombies’ skull. Heather Chandler rolled her eyes.

“Oh, shut up, Heather.”


	31. That works for me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> JD finds someone out of this world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> JDonica Doctor Who AU

Jason Dean figured he’d go out fighting. He wasn’t expecting to face his death at an army of robots. He’d faced countless dangers in his years as a runaway, but uniform robots?

That was new.

He knew he was done for as he saw the giant robots approaching, with their chants of “how very” and “Exterminate”. He was preparing for the end, and that’s when he saw her.  She had dark brown hair and a bright blue blazer that was covered by an elaborate, colorful scarf. She was beautiful. JD was so wrapped up in the details of her appearance and the immediate danger he was facing (mostly the danger) that he wasn’t concerned by the fact that she’d appeared out of a bright blue phone box, or the fact that she was trying to fight the robots with a screwdriver. He only noticed this when the screwdriver opened the fence that stood between them and the police box. She grabbed his arm, and ran alongside him. Eventually, though, his brain caught up with his legs and he stopped running. She stopped, too, a few seconds after, and then she held out her hand.

It was a tense five seconds before he decided to take it. They ran into the police box, and he was surprised when he saw the inside. It was filled to the brim with levers and machines, a large expanse of technological wonder. So naturally, JD’s first question was:

“Will the robots be able to find us?”

The woman shook her head. She flipped a few of the levers.

“The Daleks shouldn’t be able to find us now that we’re in the TARDIS,” she said, quickly.

“What are Daleks? And what’s a TARDIS?” JD asked. The more time he seemed to spend with this woman, the more confused he was.

“Daleks are the robots you just saw,” she said, gesticulating wildly towards the door of the TARDIS, “ fun fact: they’re apparently all named Heather. And this is the TARDIS. It can go anywhere in space and time.” She seemed quite proud of that fact.

“This is a lot to take in,” JD said.

“You’re not the first one to say that,” she said with a hum. “What’s your name? I forgot to ask.”

“JD,” he said, “Greetings and salutations. And you are?”

“The Doctor.”

“Doctor…”

“No, just The Doctor.”

“So you don’t have an actual name? Just ‘The Doctor’?”

“If you’ll stop getting hung up on it, you can call me Veronica.”

“That works for me,” he said, and then he started to explore the TARDIS. After all, it was such an amazing place. Doctor Veronica, as JD called her in his head, was thoroughly engrossed in whatever she was doing, and it was a few minutes before she spoke to him again.

“So, JD, where do you want to go?”


	32. Write what you know

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kurt/Ram Poets in the 40s AU  
> (side Dukepublicanette)

Kurt’s wife, Courtney, was out and about the Paris marketplaces with Heather Duke Sweeney. That meant the two men were stuck figuring out what to do while their wives were gone. Neither of them had been particularly inspired to write lately, despite the fact that Ram was facing a severe deadline from his publisher, and it always took forever for mail to get back to the States.

They sat in an awkward silence in the Kelly apartment for a few moments. Neither was really sure of what to say. Ram was the first one to speak.

“So do you want me to look over your manuscript or something?”

“I mean, it’s halfway done, but if you want to…” Kurt said. He rummaged around for the stack of papers, before finding it. He handed it to Ram, and their fingers brushed. Even though it was just a second, Kurt felt something pulse through his system that, as gifted as he was with words, he couldn’t describe, and he knew Ram must have felt the same thing.

“Did you just feel some static?” Ram asked, even though Kurt could tell that Ram knew it wasn’t static.

“Psh, no. You’re imagining things,” Kurt said. That seemed to have ended the discussion. Still, a bit of discomfort lingered as they discussed Kurt’s manuscript, and neither of them wanted to discuss anything other than writing until their wives returned.

Courtney and Heather didn’t look nearly as put together as they did when they left. Courtney’s chestnut hair was tangled in the back and her light blue skirt was wrinkled. Heather’s shirt wasn’t buttoned properly.

“How was writing?” Heather asked. Her voice was a tad breathy.

“It was… interesting,” Ram said.

“That’s funny,” Heather said, “you could say the same about shopping.”

Kurt and Ram didn’t understand why their wives were giggling.


	33. Optimistic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heathers supernatural AU

Veronica still felt incredibly guilty about Heather’s death. It didn’t make sense, since she had no idea there was wolfsbane in the prairie oyster until she’d smelled the mug after Heather had died. Still, there was one thing about guilt: it never made sense.

She’d decided to skip Mrs. Phlegm’s tribute. She figured some alone time would do her some good.

“How is my favorite witch?” she heard behind her. Of course she couldn’t have any alone time. Not with her vampire boyfriend feeling incredibly smug about her best friend/worst enemy’s death.

“JD, now’s not a good time,” Veronica said with a sigh.

“Look, I promise you, things will be better,” he said. He placed his arms around her, and his mouth closed in on the side of her neck. He wasn’t going to bite her. Her magic made sure of that. Still, she couldn’t think of a way to stop him from being too close for her comfort.

“How can things get better?” Veronica asked, “my best friend is dead.”

“Call me an optimist,” he said. Veronica kissed him, hoping it would get him to stop talking.


	34. Storms are approaching

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A continuation of Chapter 33

Veronica didn’t know what to do. Heather’s brown eyes had looked so sad the entire day, and she didn’t do anything other than rest her head on her hands.

“I’ll get you some steak?” Veronica said, hoping that would make the tiny werewolf not feel so depressed.

“No, it’s fine.” Heather said. It clearly wasn’t fine, but Veronica knew what Heather meant by that. She moved closer and let Heather rest her head on her shoulder.

“Would you two stop being gross?” Heather Duke snapped, “I have a school to run.” She put Heather Chandler’s favorite red scrunchie in her hair. Veronica never understood why anyone would want to wear that thing, because it also doubled as Heather’s favorite chew toy.

“That’s Heather’s scrunchie,” Heather McNamara said.

“Shut up, Heather,” Heather Duke said. Heather Mac whimpered in response.


	35. Heather is the me inside of me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Veronica finds new opportunities with an unexpected suicide

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Orphan black AU

It was odd watching a girl who looked just like you drink a mug full of drain cleaner. Maybe it’s because Veronica didn’t fully understand what was going on, but she found herself going through this dead girl’s bag. She reached past a copy of  _The Bell Jar_ and found what she was looking for: the woman’s wallet.It turned out her name was Heather Chandler, and Veronica kept it, because people seemed more obsessed with the girl who offed herself in a café than whatever Veronica was doing.

“She looked exactly like you?”

“Yeah,” Veronica said, taking a long drink. She knew about the evils of alcohol, but she had done worse than a glass of wine (Courtesy of Heather Chandler. She wasn’t proud of it).

“You know what this means?” JD asked. Heather shook her head.

“You have her ID and her face- Veronica, you could be Heather Chandler.”

“JD-”

“Veronica, do it for Martha,” JD said, holding her hands and looking into her eyes “Do it for me.”

“Fuck off, JD,” Veronica said, “I’ll do it for Martha”.


	36. This could be beautiful

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Veronica gives JD a makeover

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Established relationship between JD and Heather C. There's a brief reference to self-harm, but nothing specific.

“Oh, dear God,” Heather said. She had stopped at a random point in JD’s room. He was hoping that they were going to do what they usually did when they were at one of their houses: try to do cute couple-y things, argue, and then have make-up sex. Obviously, that wasn’t going to happen, since Heather was distracted by something.

“What?” JD asked.

“How do you not see the problem with this?” She said, pointing at his closet. He’d just recently managed to unpack all of his clothes, filling his closet with flannels and T shirts, all in his signature dark color scheme.

“What problem?” JD said, confused.

“What problem?” Heather said, mimicking him. She rolled her eyes. “Seriously, it’s depressing! I want to slit my wrists just looking at it!”

“Veronica said it was fine,” JD said. He knew it was underhanded to mention Heather Chandler’s frenemy, but that was the way he and Heather did things.

“What was Veronica doing here?!” Heather snarled. She calmed down for a second before retorting “You could put a homeless man’s blanket in a toilet bowl filled with blue dye and Veronica would think it’s just fine.” JD groaned.

“Can we please focus on something else?”

“No! This is a disaster. Like, I should probably call FEMA or something.”

“Are you just going to stand here and critique my wardrobe or are we actually going to do something?” JD snapped. Of course, by “do something”, he meant “make out”, but the gleam in Heather’s eye indicated that she had something else in mind. With a ferocity that JD had only seen on a few (terrifying) occasions, Heather started combing through his closet, tossing some clothes on the floor, and rearranging others. It took her all of a minute to finish the task.

“Why don’t you have more clothes?” Heather said. There was an edge of ice that lined her voice that scared JD just a tiny bit.

“I move around a lot. You’d know if you paid attention to anything I said.” JD said. She held up a hand to him.

“Can the guilt trip.” Heather said, then she sighed. I’ll deal with what I can today, and then tomorrow I’m taking you shopping.“

"Fuck that.” JD muttered.

“If you play nice, I’ll CONSIDER giving you a beej in one of the dressing rooms,” Heather said with a smirk. She knew she had JD with this.

“Whatever. I’ll go. Happy?” JD said, flopping onto his bed.

“Very.”

“I’m not paying, though.” JD said. Heather didn’t look at him as she examined a pair of combat boots and made a face.

“Oh, no. I figured.” she said absently. JD frowned.

“Don’t your parents get upset about how much you spend on clothes?” JD asked.

“Not if I ‘accidentally’ walk in on Daddy cheating on Mommy again,” Heather said, “seriously, I’ve got it down to an art form now.”

“That’s fucked up.”

“Says Mr. 'Mommy went kaboom because we move around too much’” Heather said. JD started to object to her statement, when Heather grabbed him off the bed.

“Come on. We need to fix this,” she said, pointing to the top of his head. JD frowned.

“What’s wrong with my hair?”

“Everything.” she said, and she dragged him into the dreary bathroom of the rented house. “Fucking Christ. No wonder you’re all 'death and despair’.” Heather said as she took in the surroundings. She examined the counter and frowned.

“What?”

“Why are there no hair products in here?” Heather asked. JD looked at her, confused.

“…Because I don’t use any?”

“No wonder this is such a mess.”

“You don’t complain about it when you run your hands through it as we-” JD started, but he figured he should stop when he saw the glare Heather was giving him. She pulled an impressive amount of bottles out of her purse and started effortlessly running a comb through his hair. He made faces the entire time, especially when she pulled out a hairspray that smelled unnecessarily fruity. However, the end result didn’t look bad. His normally unruly curls were transformed into a seemingly effortless wave.

Although, despite her best efforts, Heather managed to undo her own work twenty minutes later.


	37. I wish we'd met before

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Veronica wonders if she and JD could have been better had they met at a younger age.

“I’m telling you, Martha, Kindergarten was overrated.” Veronica said, shoving a handful of popcorn in her mouth. Ever since Ram’s “suicide”, movie nights had been weird for the two of them.

“You’re just saying that because nobody kissed you on the kickball field.” Martha said. Veronica could tell that she meant it as a joke, but it didn’t quite come across that way.

“Maybe,” Veronica said. Her mind drifted towards her most recent kiss. Maybe if they’d met way, way back, things would be different with JD. Veronica knew she couldn’t change him, even though she had a hard time accepting it, but maybe if JD hadn’t gone through what he had, he’d be different.

Maybe they could’ve been happy together


	38. Feel a bit punchy?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The charming ghost that haunts Veronica's house isn't so nice when the Heathers are around.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set in the modern era, but JD died during the canon era.

Veronica hated the fact that she had to move. She hated the fact that if she wanted to hang out with Betty Finn like the good old days, she’d have to go five towns over. She hated the fact that she had to unpack her entire life. Most of all, though, she hated the fact that she felt so incredibly alone.

She had accepted her position as hermit. After all, she only had a year left in Sherwood, Ohio before she could restart her life on her own terms at Harvard, Duke, Brown, or Stanford (whichever gave her the most financial aid and the most freedom to be herself). She curled up with whatever YA novel she’d picked up from the local library and tried to kill time until her first day at Westerburg High School.

And that’s when she heard it.

“Greetings and salutations”

She frowned for a second, then went back to reading. It was probably her imagination. Of course, she was disturbed less than a minute later by the smell of cigarette smoke. She started coughing.

“What the hell?” she asked. She shoved down her book and looked up, glaring. That’s when she saw him. He was tall and mysterious, with dark hair and a trenchcoat to match. Placed between his lips was that obnoxious cigarette.

“Sorry,” he said, putting it out quickly. “I didn’t realize that you could see me.”

“Of course I can,” Veronica said. She frowned. Perhaps it was the shock that kept her from freaking the fuck out. “What are you doing in my house?”

“I could ask you the same question,” the strange boy (he was definitely a boy, Veronica noticed. He was about her age, 17.) said. This confused Veronica even more.

“Are you, like, a squatter or something?” Veronica asked, “Jesus Christ. The old owners should have declared that on the forms.”

“You could say that. I’ve been a squatter since my old man moved out in ‘89.” His statement stopped Veronica entirely. She was born in ‘97, and this kid was about her age. There’s no way he could have been alive in 1989.

“Ha, ha,” Veronica said, glaring at him, “what a hilarious prank. Wow. Deeeefinitely not creepy at all. Is this how you haze all the new kids at Westerburg?” Then it was the mysterious stranger’s turn to frown in confusion.

“I’m not hazing you.” he said. “Look, you seem like a smart enough girl, trash taste in books aside. You can figure this out. You just don’t want to.”

He was right. She groaned.

“Oh, fuck me,” she said. She pretended not to see the grin that appeared on his face when she said that. “I’m living in a haunted house.”

* * *

Despite her previous difficulties, life in Sherwood was going pretty well for Veronica. JD, which she had learned was the name of the ghost that lived in her house, had become more and more of an accepted presence in her life, and she was starting to make friends at Westerburg. The only problem was that her friends didn’t get along.

Well, that wasn’t quite true.

Martha Dunnstock was one of the kindest people you’d ever meet. The Heathers, on the other hand, were the embodiment of everything wrong with high school. They were popular, though, and Veronica needed their power if she wanted to survive high school.

One day they decided to grace Veronica’s house with their presence. It took just one blasé reference to the possibility to drive Veronica over the edge with excitement. She couldn’t wait to tell JD about it. His response, however, wasn’t what she’d expected.

“Aren’t you happy for me?” She asked with a frown.

“Why would I be happy for you?”

“Because I finally have a chance to be left alone by everyone else,” Veronica said, “the Heathers are solid teflon, and the more they hang out with me, the more I’ll be like that.”

“Do you really want to be like that?” JD asked. Veronica rolled her eyes.

“You know what I mean,” she said, “Besides, I’m sure they’re not that bad.”

“Whatever helps you sleep at night,” JD said, and he drifted off before Veronica could say another word.

Veronica had everything prepared for the Heathers’ visit. To say she wanted the Heathers to like her was an understatement. She ignored JD’s scoffing. He didn’t even know these girls. Veronica was’t sure what his damage was, but she didn’t have much time to think about it as the doorbell rang, and she welcomed the Heathers.

Upon entering, Heather Chandler wrinkled her nose in disgust. Heather Duke didn’t stop sulking. It wasn’t going exactly according to Veronica’s plan, but it wasn’t the end of the world, either. However, something pulled the rug out under her. Literally.

Heather McNamara went crashing to the floor with a squeak, as the welcome mat was crumpled next to her.

“God, Heather, and you wonder why I hate those fucking uggs you wear,” Heather Chandler said with a sneer. Heather McNamara looked down in shame. Veronica figured she could get past the unfortunate beginning of the get-together, but it didn’t get better as it went along. In fact, by the time the Heathers left, Heather Chandler was covered in “pâté”, Heather Duke was nursing a bloody nose, and Heather McNamara was crying. When it was time to go, the Heathers stormed out. The only one to say anything was Heather McNamara, who gave a very rehearsed “Thank you” to Veronica and her mother.

Veronica went up to her room and screamed into her pillow. Of course, this caught the attention of her resident spectre.

“Is it the.. what’s their name again- ‘Heather’s?” JD asked. Veronica sighed.

“Kind of. Today was just one fuck up after another. I don’t get it! I did everything I could to make today perfect, and now I’ll probably be a dead girl walking!” Veronica said, and then she buried her head into her pillow. She felt a coldness that was probably JD trying to put a comforting hand on her shoulder. She looked up at him.

“Hey, you know what they say. Shit happens. Besides, you can do better than them, anyway.” He said. There was something off about the way he said it, but Veronica couldn’t figure out what it was, so she didn’t comment on the matter.


	39. A walking horror movie cliche

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> JD tries to surprise Heather

“I know you’re back there” Heather said, rolling her eyes. JD popped up from the backseat, groaning. His plan had backfired. He wanted to surprise her.

“Maybe Veronica was right,” JD said.

“What does Veronica have to do with this?”

“She’s been writing in her diary about how you have psychic bitch powers.” JD said. Heather didn’t question how he knew the contents of Veronica’s diary, because she honestly didn’t want to know his methods. Even she had her limits.

“That, and I always look in the backseat before I get into a car,” Heather said, “I’ve seen enough horror movies in my time, which is how I can see what you’re about to pull.” JD scoffed.

“I doubt that.”

“Oh, please, _The Shining_ ,” Heather said, “You’re not as intense as you think you are.”


	40. Things you didn't say at all

Heather’s death left Veronica full of regrets. Most of those were because she felt at least somewhat responsible. Even though she didn’t fill the mug, she still handed it to Heather without checking its contents.

However, there were a few things that made her stomach turn that had nothing to do with her part in Heather’s death. It was the moments when she was in silent awe that made her wonder if she should have vocalized her thoughts. Now it seems to be too late.

Oh, Heather may be haunting her, but it wasn’t the real Heather. She didn’t have the heartbeat that made Veronica’s a little faster, the gentle perfume that Veronica unexpectedly loved, the exasperated sighs that defined Heather. Those things left when Heather drained the mug.

Maybe the reason Veronica didn’t feel guilty was because she was more sad than anything else.


	41. Things you said when you thought I was asleep

“I love you, Heather”

Those four words wouldn’t stop swimming around Heather McNamara’s head. She’d heard them as she was drifting off during movie night with Veronica and Martha. Veronica was pushing her hair out of her face gently, and that’s when Heather heard them.

Ever since, Heather had been a little tense around the brunette.

“Heather, are you okay?” Veronica asked, as Heather’s jittery driving caused them to almost crash.

“Yeah,” Heather said, although she was still visibly tense.

“Heather, please, tell me what’s wrong.” Veronica said.

“No, really. I’m fine!”

“Heather…”

“You said you love me and I heard it and I don’t think you meant for me to.” Heather said. Martha shot a concerned look at Veronica from across the backseat.

“Heather, I didn’t mean for you to hear it, but I did mean it,” Veronica said.

“Really?” Heather said, her heart rising.

“Yeah,” Veronica said. She was blushing furiously. Heather haphazardly reached behind her in an attempt to hug Veronica.

“Heather, eyes on the road!”

“Sorry.”

“I can’t believe I love you.”


	42. Things you said I wish you hadn't

Veronica could track her relationship with JD through what-ifs. She couldn’t shake the feeling that they could have ended perfectly had they not- well, something. Had they not killed Heather Chandler, had he not lied about the ich lüge bullets, had he not carried around a loaded weapon, had he not built the bomb.

But none of those, she realized, were real. And so, with a solemn resilience, she picked up her croquet mallet, and hoped for the best as she headed towards Westerburg, hoping that maybe she could make JD realize what he was doing before it was too late


	43. Things you said after it was over

“Do you want to come over to my house?” Martha asked, after rapidly poking Heather Duke with a pencil after math class. Yes, Heather Duke and Martha _Dumptruck_ were close enough in social status that they sat close together. That was how much Westerburg had changed once the suicide epidemic ended with Jason Dean spattered across the football field.

It was unexpected, to say the least, for Heather. Yes, at one point, she and Martha had been friends, but that was back in Kindergarten. Still, Heather somehow found herself agreeing, and was pleasantly surprised when she actually had fun hanging out with Martha.


	44. Things you said when we were the happiest we ever were

“This actually isn’t bad,” Heather said. It was one of those sunny mornings when Heather, Veronica, and JD were all bundled up in a heap in their too small bed in their too small apartment (according to Heather, anyway). Veronica immediately started laughing.

“What’s so funny?” Heather said, eyes narrowed.

“You’ve kind of made a reputation for yourself as a complainer,” JD said.

“Shut up,” Heather said, grabbing the pillow next to her and hitting him with it. Of course, she accidentally hit Veronica, thus starting a pillow fight for the ages.


	45. Things you said at 1 AM

“Oh, my God. You’re such a dork.” Heather said laughing, after listening to Veronica quote her favorite movies. All three Heathers and Veronica were gathered at Heather’s house for a sleepover, and it was quite different than the ones Veronica had with Martha.

“It sounds like you’re not that upset,” Veronica said, giving Heather a smirk that rivaled the blond’s own.

“It’s too late for me to care,” Heather said, giving an unconvincing fake yawn.

“Sure it is.” Veronica said.


	46. Things you said when you were drunk

“I’ll do it!” Veronica slurred, as Kurt and Ram chanted “Kiss” at her and Heather. Heather frowned, knowing that there’s no way Veronica would be nearly as enthusiastic about this if she were drunk, but she was currently leaning towards Heather with her lips puckered.

“Ugh, you smell like cheap vodka.” Heather said as she pushed Veronica away. Veronica pouted.

“You’re no fun,” she said.

“I can live with that.”


	47. Things you said I wish you hadn't

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Musical based

“Lick it up, Baby, lick it up!” Veronica said, wiping vomit off of her cheek in a manner that looked oddly tough.

Heather snarled back some threatening reply and Veronica ran off. Heather hid it as well as expected, making no one wonder if anything is wrong. All the while though, she wondered if maybe she had gone too far. Of course, this was typical. People like Martha Dumptruck could probably try and be cool, then they wouldn’t be humiliated for entertainment. Really, Heather was just maintaining the natural order of things.

Right?

Life before Veronica Sawyer was a lot less confusing for Heather, but she would never go back.


	48. Things you said I wasn't meant to hear

“You leave that girl alone, or I can pick from a whole arsenal of things I can tell the school about you. You got that?” Heather said to some Junior who had the misfortune of being overheard talking about Veronica’s ass.

Heather Chandler was talking about her. She was defending her. Veronica Sawyer was a nobody, and yet Heather Chandler stood up for her. She’d always wanted someone to fight for her, and it turned out that that someone was Heather Chandler, using dulcet tones to whisper threats at leering upperclassmen.

Who would have guessed?


	49. Things you said under the stars and in the grass

“I could be here forever,” Veronica mutters.

“Hopefully we will be,” Heather says. Veronica frowns.

“Obviously we can’t just sit in the grass forever, watching the stars,” Veronica says, “nice as that would be…”

“Yeah, no, I get that,” Heather says, “I mean hopefully we’ll be together forever.”


	50. Things you said when you were scared

“Are you doing better?” Veronica asks Heather the day after her suicide attempt.

“I think so.” Heather says. And she does. She still feels guilt over Heather, Kurt, and Ram’s deaths, but now that’s not the only thing she feels. She feels hope, something she hasn’t felt in years.

“That’s good to hear.” Veronica says, and she seems to mean it. Veronica’s different from everyone else in Heather’s world. Heather feels like she genuinely cares about her. And that makes all the difference in the world.


	51. Things you said when you were drunk- Veronica and JD

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mentions of sex, nothing worse than canon.

“Shushhhhhhh” She said. She’s haphazard- she has been since she came in through his window. He can smell the alcohol on her breath. Normally alcohol leads to a flood of bad memories about his dad.

“Sorry to wake you,” she says. She’s surprisingly coherent, considering how drunk she probably is, “but I’ve decided to ride you like a tree.” He doesn’t question the nonsensical nature of this statement. He holds her, hoping that the world is only them.

“Tonight I’m yours,” she purrs and then shoves him onto the bed, whispering dirty talk into his ear, including a gem about being on the pill.

He knows when the morning comes, it’s back to reality. Hopefully she really is done with Heather, but even if she’s not, at least they have tonight


	52. "It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> musical-verse, TFLN

Despite the attempt for normalcy after Veronica so rudely dropped the piñata into the pool, threw up on Heather, and then left, things were still kind of awkward between the three Heathers.

“Maybe Veronica was right,” Heather McNamara said with a sigh as she looked into her plastic cup filled with orange soda and vanilla vodka. Of course, Heather Chandler immediately turned to her sternly. Heather Duke was too high to care.

“Why am I not surprised you’d be a complete pussy about this?” Heather asked. She was drinking just water at this point, since she’d drank the remnants of an expired bottle of wine on a dare.

“It just doesn’t seem that funny is all,” Heather said staring at her feet.

“Okay, this is why we shouldn’t let you drink vodka,” Heather said, frowning, “you get all whiny and then it’s just annoying.”

“Yeah, plus it would have been fucking hilarious,” Heather Duke said.

“Shut up, Heather!” Heather Chandler snapped. Heather Duke burst out laughing.

“I mean, maybe if we put candy in the piñata, it might be better,” Heather said, “since everything is better with candy-”

“You say the word piñata weird.” Heather Duke mused.

“SHUT UP, HEATHER!” Heather Chandler shouted, “no one gives a shit.”

“If I said the word ‘piñata’ weird, I’d want to know,” Heather said sulking. “I’m just being a good friend. Speaking of being a good friend, Heather, you should know that vanilla vodka is fucking disgusting.”

“It tastes like a creamsickle!” Heather said, holding her drink away from Heather.

“Jesus Christ, why do I even hang out with you two?” Heather said, taking another drink from her water, hoping it would slow her oncoming headache.


	53. “I can’t hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.”

A week ago, Veronica would have expected to be cutting class with the Heathers. A month ago, she would have expected not to be cutting class at all. There was no situation where she was cutting class with Jason Dean behind the 7-11. Yet here she was, letting him feel her up while her Ben and Jerry’s melted in the late September sun.

It was perfect in a way she never would have expected. Who knew when she snuck through his window that fateful night that this would be her life?

Okay, well, it wasn’t perfect, as Heather Chandler’s funeral yesterday had reminded her, but it was pretty damn close.

“I love you,” he whispered against her ear. This put a brief pause in their groping session. Sure, he’d said it before, but this was different. This wasn’t the result of moving at the right time during a very intense night. This was deliberate. This couldn’t just be chalked up to lust and hormones (Well, it could be, but it was harder to do, given that neither of them was undressed.)

“What?” Veronica said, not sure she heard him right.

“Never mind,” he said. It was the first time that she’d seen him look genuinely nervous since she met him. He’d always been sharp and in control. It was so different from the vulnerable boy who sat in front of her, sitting on the disgusting asphalt by the dumpster behind the 7-11.

“did you just say you love me?” she said with a nervous laugh.

“I- it’s- seriously, never mind. It’s-”

“I love you, too,” she said, and she kissed him, and soon they were back to being two hormonal teenagers making out behind a convenience store.


	54. "Getting drunk at 9 AM is not a superpower"

Heather Duke didn’t say anything about Heather Chandler’s comically large sunglasses, or why she was wearing them at 9 AM during first period trig. It was only when Heather offered Heather her water bottle did Heather feel obliged to make a statement.

“This is vodka,” Heather said simply.

“How astute,” Heather said. Even though Heather couldn’t see Heather’s eyes behind the red framed sunglasses, she could tell she was rolling them at the brunette Heather.

“I’m just kind of concerned.”

“Look, I know I’m not the only one hung over from last night,” Heather said. It was bizarre, that Heather offering alcohol in the morning was the closest that she came to caring about Heather Duke.

“Thanks, but I’m not hung over,” Heather said, pushing the water bottle away from her. Heather just shrugged.

“Suit yourself,” she said, and she took a giant swig.


	55. Lab Partners

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> JD and Veronica deal with the consequences. With Fleming.

Veronica was sure this was worse than being suspended. Instead of getting to stay home and read a book, she and JD were sitting in Mrs. Phlegm’s office, as he tried not to burst out laughing at the posters warning of the danger of satanic ritual abuse. She wasn’t laughing. Even if she was amused, it would be hard to tell since she was missing a chunk of her left eyebrow.

“I feel like this was a cry for help,” Mrs. Fleming said solemnly. JD couldn’t help it. He let out a snicker. “Do you think this is funny, young man?”

“Well, let’s see,” JD said, pretending to think, “Kurt Kelly and Ram Sweeney are probably beating up some poor chump in the hallways, There’s a 50% that right as we speak Courtney and Tara are fighting, and one time Courtney knocked out one of Tara’s teeth, but instead you feel like two kids who were just doing their science project are a menace to the school.”

“’Just doing a science project?!’” Veronica shouted, incredulous, “JD you created an explosive.”

“No, _we_ created an explosive,” JD corrected her. Veronica was fuming.

“At the time, you told me it was drain cleaner,” she pointed out.

“Well, you told me to work on something that suited out strengths,” he said, “it’s not my fault my dad has an affection for arson.” At this point, Mrs. Fleming was completely out of her depth.

“And, um, how does that make you feel,” Mrs. Fleming asked, trying to pretend that she knew how to handle this situation.

Poor woman.

“I can tell you how it makes me feel,” Veronica snarled, “it makes me wish I had never so much as talked to this asshole, because now my reputation is ruined and I’m missing part of my face!” she pointed to her singed brow.

“Language!” Mrs. Fleming snapped. Veronica rolled her eyes at her and made a face.

“It’ll grow back,” JD said dismissively.

“but in the meantime, I’ve been dubbed the unibrow Unabomber”

“Why do you even care what they think?” JD asked.

“Do you even know what it feels like to be an outcast?” Veronica asked bitterly.

“Really? You’re really asking me that?” JD said with a scoff, “I’ve been an outcast my whole life. I don’t care what they think. I thought you were different, but I guess you’re not.”

“Do I need to bring out the talking stick?” Mrs. Fleming shouted in a forced voice, holding out a stick wrapped in colorful string and decorated with beads.

“Why is this all of a sudden about me?” Veronica asked, “you’re the one who tried to blow up the school."

“Why do you think I did it?” JD asked.

“Because you’re a crazy person?”

“No, because I wanted to impress you!” JD said with a sigh.

“And you thought building a bomb would impress me?” If Veronica’s eyebrow was still there, it would be raised in doubt.

“I didn’t think it through,” JD admitted, “but I just figured if I did something to wow you, then maybe….” He stopped abruptly, looking like he’d said too much.

“Maybe what, Jason?” Mrs. Fleming said, “remember: this is a safe place.”

“You’re not helping,” Veronica said, glaring daggers at the guidance counselor, “we’re kind of having a moment.”

“Oh,” Mrs. Fleming said, taken aback, “pretend I’m not here.”

“I thought if I wowed you, you’d like me back,” JD muttered. “The whole thing was just a terrible idea.”

“JD, I’ve liked you for a while,” Veronica said.

“Really?”

“Well, I don’t like you right now because I’m pissed off,” Veronica said, “but maybe once my eyebrow has grown back we can go bowling or something lame like that.” She smiled, and he smiled back. It was wonderful. At least, until Mrs. Fleming “aww”ed.

“Now you two know about the school’s rules against PDA, right?” She said, rummaging through her desk, “also I’m technically not allowed to teach you this, but do you understand how protection works?” she threw a handful of condoms onto her desk and the two of them blushed furiously.

Gotta love high school.


	56. Things are gonna get awkward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A power outage disturbs one of Heather's... more private habits.

It was the third time that week that JD had heard from the woman in the apartment above his. In a sense, anyway.

“AH!” She whined. He just sighed. He wouldn’t mind. Hell, he was even a bit turned on. The thing was, her porn habits yielded one thing for him: the spinning wheel of doom. Yes, the girl in 18B stole his wifi to watch porn.

Thunder crashed. It had been storming for weeks, and that day was no exception. Moans and thunder. That was the soundtrack to JD’s gaming habit. What? He was a single guy. It’s not like he had anything better to do. The thunder crashed again. He went to unplug his laptop, since he had a feeling that this storm was going to get bad. Sure enough, once it was unplugged, the thunder crashed again, and the power was out.

“FUCK!” said the woman who lived above him. He felt the same way. In a few minutes, the power was back up, but when he tried to connect to his wifi network (”The Extreme Impression”), he got a message saying that the server was down. A few minutes later, he heard a knock at the door. It was a woman clad in a red shirt and yoga pants that made her better than casual clothes should legally be able to make a person. What was also odd about the blonde was that she was wearing red lipstick, even though she was probably just staying in.

“I’ll just get to the point since I’m sure you’re busy,” she said. She didn’t even give him the chance to greet her. “Can you call your cable company to get your internet back up?”

“Why do you care?” he asked, grinning. Even back in high school, he liked to mess with well made-up pretty popular girls. It was a habit that continued, although with a lot less pettiness behind the intent.

“Do I have to spell it out for you?” she said, clearly not in the mood for his antics. 

“I’ll wait until the storm is over, since my phone isn’t working right now, either” he said. She surprised him by handing over a phone cased with red and gold chevrons.

“Here. Mine isn’t down, though I’m sure the reception’s not great.” she said.

“Woah, buy a guy dinner first!” he said, laughing as he took the phone.

“If you ask, you should pay.” she said curtly.

“You steal my wifi,” he said, “I don’t think it’s too much to ask for a little repayment.”

“How did you know?”

“a. you came down here to ask if I could get it back up, and b. I can hear you.”

“You can hear me?” she asked, confused.

“When you’re, ah,” he tried to think of a way to phrase it. “riding the m-train.”

Her mouth immediately widened as a blush approached her cheeks.

“You fucking pervert!” she shouted. “What’s your damage?”

“It’s not exactly like I sought it out,” he said, frustrating her with how calm he was being. “You’re rather loud.”

She pouted, and rolled her eyes.

“Look. Just call the company. I’ll get my own wifi eventually, soundproof my apartment and we can go our separate ways and pretend this never happened.”

“That’s not exactly possible,” JD pointed out. “We’re neighbors. We’ll see each other pretty often."

“What do you want? Money?” the woman said.

“Well, your name would be a good place to start.” he said. The woman looked confused.

“Heather.” She said simply. 

“Huh,” JD mused, “I dated a Heather once.”

“Heather Duke?”

“Yeah!” he said, “How did you know?”

“How do you think I got your wifi password?” she asked, grinning maliciously. He returned it with a smirk.

“You’re devious. I like it.” he said, “so, Heather. Want to go out sometime?”

“Why not?” she said, pretending to be indifferent, although JD could see right through it. “It’s the least I can do for stealing your wifi.

A week later, JD showed up at her door in a nice button down, black pants, and his signature trench coat, which Heather made fun of. He didn’t really mind it though, since the sex they had was better than anything that could be in the porn Heather watched.


	57. Venti Caramel Macchiato

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Veronica hates working at Starbucks.

Heather McNamara owed Veronica so goddamn much. The tiny blonde had convinced Veronica to get a job working with her at Starbucks. Working with Heather was one of the few perks of the job. The fact that she had to deal with the same assholes every day was not.

“Well tell Kurt he can shove his apology up his ass!” A woman with reddish-blonde hair dressed entirely in red snarled into her phone. She was up next. Joy.

“Can I-” Veronica said, but she was cut off when the blonde woman held up a single finger to silence her. That was it. She’d dealt with this woman every morning shift she’d had for the past three weeks that she’d held this job. Now, she’d reached her breaking point. Of course, Veronica didn’t show it. Instead, she gave her best customer service smile and continued to wait as Heather muttered obscenities into her (of course) brand-new iPhone.

“Venti machiatto with skim.” the woman said, not even looking at Veronica.

“Can I get a name for that?” Veronica asked, a plan forming in her mind.

“Heather Chandler.”

“Okay, that’ll be $5.50.” Veronica said. Heather Chandler rolled her eyes and handed over her credit card. Veronica swiped it, and wrote on the cup. “M, Skim, Hell-ther Chandler.” and set it down for her fellow barista to prepare as she headed on to the next customer.

A few minutes later, she was out of her usual cash-register rhythm when she heard a loud “WHAT THE FUCK?!” from the drink area.

“Excuse me for a moment,” she told the customer she was with, and she headed over there. Sure enough, Hell-ther Chandler was looking at her macchiato, and she was pissed.

“I want to talk to a manager,” Heather seethed. Courtney, the other Barista, went to go get a manager, but not before she whispered “you’re so fucked” into Veronica’s ear with a menacing smirk.

Heather McNamara came out of the back office, much to Veronica’s surprise.

“Can I help you?” Heather Mac asked.

“I asked to speak to a manager,” Heather Chandler said.

“I’m the manager on duty,” Heather McNamara said meekly. Veronica frowned in confusion. “Oh, Veronica! I forgot to tell you. I got promoted!” Heather said excitedly to her.

“Whatever,” Heather Chandler seethed. “Can you explain this?”  She pointed at her cup. Heather McNamara frowned.

“I’m really sorry about that. I’ll get you a new one and I’ll talk to the barista.” Heather got Courtney to work on a new Macchiato while she pulled Veronica into the back office.

“Veronica, I don’t think that was an accident.” Heather whispered.

“What gave you that idea?” Veronica said, sarcasm dripping from her voice. “Before you say anything, you have to understand where I’m coming from. She literally shushed me  so she could talk on the phone.”

“That sucks, but you still can’t do that,” Heather said, “I don’t want to have to fire you, so please go apologize.”

“Fine,” Veronica said, rolling her eyes, “but remember: I only took this stupid job because of you.”

Veronica trudged out to where Heather Chandler was.

“I’m sorry I messed up your name,” she said to the woman behind the drink counter.

“Whatever. I want a refund.” Veronica went to the cash register and Heather Chandler stopped her. “-from you.”

“What?!” Veronica said, incredulous.

“I want you to buy my drink.” Heather Chandler repeated. Seething, Veronica went to the back office and grabbed $5.50 out of her wallet.

“Here, although if I’m gonna buy you a drink, I thought I’d get to know you.” Veronica joked.

“Whatever. Here’s my business card, so you can get my name right next time. And you’re kind of cute, so if you want to stop being a little shit, you can give me a call,” Heather Chandler said before grabbing her macchiato and walking out.

“Are we good?” Heather McNamara whispered behind her.

“Yeah, I think she just asked me out.” Veronica said.

“What?”

“I know.” Veronica said, although the thing she found more confusing was that she kind of wanted to take Heather Chandler up on her offer.


	58. "The sex may be the only reason I like him. I think I've confused multiple orgasms for feelings"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Veronica contemplates her relationship with JD.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TFLN prompt

Veronica didn’t feel like leaving her bed. Part of that may be because she didn’t have anything on, but most of it was the guilt. How did she let this happen again? Actually, she knew exactly how. JD’s face was scrunched, as if even in sleep he couldn’t let anything go.

She’d lost count of how many times this had happened. They would hang out at his house, then fight, then fuck, and she’d lie to her mom and say she spent the night at Heather’s house.

And the lies were adding up. Not just hers, but his as well. The memory of “ich lüge” bullets was still too fresh in her brain. Even the thought of hooking up in his car made her feel nauseated, but not enough to stop it from happening. She was disgusted with herself.

She curled up tighter into the sheets. She stayed there for seconds? minutes? she didn’t know, but it didn’t feel like a long enough time. Soon, JD was awake, turning towards her.

“Good morning, Veronica,” he said, gently kissing her temple. She smiled, lazily rolling around to face him.

“Morning, JD,” she said, it was clear that her head wasn’t entirely in the moment. That didn’t stop JD from kissing his way down to her neck. Slowly, Veronica stopped thinking about how guilty she felt. In fact, she couldn’t think about anything other than how amazing JD’s hands felt against her skin.

And that’s how the cycle began yet again.


	59. Not funny

“You heard me. Take. It Off.”

JD just smirked at the words. Veronica, however, was not in a joking mood. The fact that JD was wearing a “Big Fun” t-shirt made her sick to her stomach. It was bad enough that they had faked the suicides of three of their classmates. It was even worse that those had caused a chain reaction that led to other suicide attempts. Now JD was making light of the whole thing, and that was not okay.

“Why are you so eager to get my shirt off?” JD asked. The coy tone of his voice made Veronica want to gag.

“Because this isn’t a joke, JD, and the fact that you find it funny makes me wonder why I’m still with you!” Veronica almost shouted. This made JD’s mood somber rather quickly.

“Veronica, calm down,” JD said, holding her arms gently, “I didn’t mean anything by it. It was just a joke.”

“I know. And it’s not funny,” she said, rather tersely.

“Fine.” He said, and he shucked the T-shirt in favor of one of his usual grey t-shirts. “Better?”

“Much better,” Veronica said. Her voice felt oddly hollow as she said the words, but she didn’t think about it as JD held her close.


	60. Stacks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> College AU

The two work study buddies looked at each other, and then back at the guy asleep on the tome of Baudilaire.

“Should we wake him up?” Veronica asked. Heather McNamara put a hand on her arm.

“Look at him! It’s precious.” Of course, Heather had always been the sweet one among the two. Still, Veronica couldn’t help but smile at the sight of the sleepy guy.

“I don’t know if I’d go with precious.” Veronica said. “Tell you what: let’s do everything else we need to close, and then we’ll come back and see if he’s still asleep.” Heather sighed.

“Fine.”

It was a standard close. They re-shelved books and got everything ready for the morning crew. When they returned to the poetry section, the guest was still there.

“Do you want to wake him up?” Heather asked.

“Why do I have to wake him up?”

“Come on, Roni, you know I suck at this kind of thing,” Heather Mac said, giving Veronica her best pleading look. It worked. Veronica rolled her eyes and nudged the dark-haired stranger.

“Hey,” she said, giving him another gentle shove. “Mr. No-Name-Kid.”

“It’s J.D.” He mumbled. Veronica frowned.

“What?”

“My name.”

“Well, J.D.” she said, testing the name out on her tongue. “We’re closed for the evening. If you need help with a paper, there’s always the online references-”

“Nah, I was just reading for fun.” He said, running his fingers through his hair. “Sorry if I disturbed you. Have a good night.” He said.

Once he’d left. Heather McNamara gave Veronica a playful shove.

“You like him!” she teased..

“What are you, twelve?” Veronica retorted.


End file.
